Walking a Mile in Someone Else's Shoes

There is nothing in this world to help a person become more sympathetic to the plight of others than going through a similar hardship.

My husband has, for the most part, enjoyed a very healthy life. Not until the last five or so years has his body begun to show some very distinct signs of age. Poor guy. Suddenly a man who rarely took pain reliever when he was in pain has to take all sorts of meds to regulate things he's never had to worry about before.

The funny (and not ha-ha funny but interesting funny) is a lot of what he's been experiencing lately I've been going through for years. Like heart burn. I remember when he described the first time he had heart burn. There was almost panic in his eyes. But I'd been there...since I was a teen I'd been there. So I walked him through the first episode, we found out his was worse (acid reflux), and was so happy when he finally found something that would help take the daily pain away.

Then came the migraines. My husband had never experienced a migraine (I'm not sure if he'd really had a headache), and suddenly he's overcome with pain every single day! Fortunately, once again, he and the doctor were able to find something to help with the daily part. Unfortunately he still gets the occasional migraine, but occasional is definitely not daily, and for that we're so grateful.

The latest in a short line of odd things to go wrong with your body has been his trapezium (sp?) muscle. About two weeks ago he began hurting along the back, right side of his neck. Over time the pain has become increasingly worse and has spread into his back and shoulder, keeps him up at night, and is sometimes so painful he can barely lift his head. He headed into the doctor yesterday, who gave him a stronger pain reliever and a muscle relaxant. He slept very well last night, and is actually outside right now mowing the lawn because he feels better. Not great, but this is a man who'll work regardless of a 102 degree temp saying, "It's nothing."

I tell you all these things about my husband (and don't tell him I told you all this...he might not be as willing to share the intricacies of his life as much as I am) because I've watched him over the last few years gain greater empathy, in particular here in our little family. You see, shortly before he started getting migraines our oldest had them as well. Not daily, but bad enough they would make her throw up. Suddenly my husband found himself with greater patience when she began to complain. And now that our younger son has daily migraines, my husband is even more willing to help find something to make the pain go away.

With his acid reflux and heart burn, well it probably seems silly, but he has an idea of what I've lived with most of my life. Now when I say I have heart burn, he's much more understanding of the pain I'm experiencing.

This last little "glitch" in the body has sure thrown him for a loop, but it's something I've had happen at least once or twice a year for the last several years. Again, he now understands a little more why I've been laid down flat for a day or two when I have it.

So compassion is certainly my husband's lesson. But I've certainly gained one as well. If this awesome man of mine had not been the sort of wonderful man he is, I may have spent each episode crowing, "I told you so!" Fortunately for us both he's never been the sort of person to lack compassion for the trials of another, even if he couldn't personally understand what they were enduring.

For me the lesson has been a realization that instead of being the person who stands back and feels justified that someone else really understands what I'm experiencing, I have instead said, "Okay. I know what you're going through. So let me use my past experience in helping you out."

We will all eventually walk a mile, or even just a few feet, in the shoes of another. In that time we have a chance to learn compassion, and will hopefully gain a friend in the process.

Breakpast, Paper Toilet, and Nilk

Learning to talk correctly is hard enough for any kid. Learning to talk in a household where Mom and Dad think the mistakes you make are so adorable they refuse to correct your mistakes is ever harder. Heh, heh, heh.

I love the way kids say things. Just last night I listened as my 2 year old called my husband Chuckles - with no "l" of course. It got me thinking about all the other mistakes my kids make...and how I've yet to help them say these things correctly.

My oldest hasn't been a little kid for so long I don't recall much of her slip ups, but there are two I distinctly remember. One involves her Grandpa W. You have to know when this man sneezes, it's been known to reverberate throughout the room. So for more than a year he was known as "Grandpa Achoo." The second memory I wholeheartedly blame on my husband. He loves to sing the most inane songs (ones I completely thought he was making up until I actually heard them on the radio!) and nursery rhymes, and if he doesn't remember the words he has no problem making them up - which is why for an awfully long time M sang the wrong words to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." Something about clouds and lights instead of the world and stars.

J didn't say too many things wrong, but he had the most distinct western accent while saying them. Superman would come out with an exaggerated 'A', making him sound like he grew up in the deep South instead of Utah. Perhaps my most favorite, one I never corrected him on, is calling toilet paper "paper toilet." Fortunately he's lived long enough to naturally correct it on his own, but not before teaching his younger brother to say it first.

B is perhaps the most adorable with his speech. He's never struggled with saying "l" or "r" the way his siblings did, if anything he over-emphasises them, but he can't seem to distinguish very distinct sounds in other words. As mentioned in the title of this post, he refers to fingers as thingers. And breakfast has long been breakpast in our house (this one was passed down from M to J and at last to B). These silly things were made all the more noticeable because since the age of three he's spoken so much like an adult (Brent - you always pointed that out to me, rememer?).

And now we have our little A who is quite a mimic and such a willing participant in our family's new favorite game "Make Baby Repeat What We Say". In many cases this is an utter success leaving us all full of giggles. In other cases I worry about what her brothers are teaching her when Mom's not around. For example, a few weeks ago she looked up at me with big blue eyes and a smile so sweet I could taste the sugar and said, "Mom, I fawted." Yeah. I know. The boys received a nice little talking to that day.

Even with phrases like that, so long as she still refers to milk as "nilk" and her toes as "piggies," I'll forgive the former remark.

Sunday Inspirations April 19, 2009

I wasn't sure what to post about today. To be honest I'm still not certain what to post about even as I sit here at the computer. Getting everyone ready for church this morning seemed to take forever. While I had some wonderful lessons and heard two beautiful talks (sermons), I couldn't quite wrap my head around what the Lord might want me to write about today.

During Relief Society I had a bit of an "Ah ha" moment. You know, where something clicks in a way you never saw in quite that way before. We were discussing Joseph Smith, in particular about one of the times he spent in prison. It was during this time he was able to do certain things he would not have had time to do before.

He was able to reflect - upon his life, his doings in the Church and his family, where his path might take him from there. In the normal course of his life I would imagine Joseph rarely had time to simply think, ponder, and meditate.

Joseph had time to write to the members of the Church. He wrote his wife, his mother, his family, his friends. He was able to put his thoughts down on paper, to think about what he really wanted to say, to give answers to questions he might not normally have time to give.

He spent much energy on finding things to be grateful for. In many of his letters he not only proclaimed his love to family and friends, but he told them of all the things he was grateful for. He counted his blessings. He looked for the silver linings. Even when separated from those he loved most, in conditions we could not imagine, with those railing for his death, Joseph still focused on the good things in his life.

What was so enlightening about all this? I thought for a moment about where he was, and realized that had he not been in prison, had he not had these hours of solitude and reflection, the opportunity to reflect, to write to his friends and family, and to focus on things he was grateful for might not have occurred in the normal course of his life. Joseph, as the leader of a new and rapidly growing church, rarely had time to be with his family, or sit for an evening with his wife. Him being in prison gave him opportunities he might otherwise never had.

We are sometimes given trials, tribulations, and circumstances that seem to be more than we can bear. They can sap us of out strength, bringing us down to levels we never thought we'd hit. Yet, even in the most dire of circumstances, blessings are there to grab. It is only for us to look for them, to accept them, to recognize what they are in the moment before they are lost to us.

Many of us find ourselves trapped in some sort of prison. Whether or not we remain in despair is up to us.

I Don't Know What to Title This Post

I've had loads of ideas for a title popping into my mind, and none of them do this woman justice. I'm sure most of you have heard all about her. I'm just putting out the word in my own little way, because I truly believe in promoting beautiful things.

As in intro, I want to take a moment and talk about YouTube. We're not exactly friends. I think we could be friends if I wasn't crawling along with dial-up speeds of around 26 Kbps. Snail speeds, you know? Because of this, when people send me links to videos on YouTube I typically skip them by. A 3-4 minute video has been known to take up to 2 hours to load. Crazy, I know.

My husband came home from work tonight raving about a video I just had to see. A woman by the name of Susan Boyle was making quite the sensation on England's version of "American Idol", called "Britian's Got Talent." From the moment you see her, you're convinced she's one of those people they let through for pure comedy. She's a 47-year old single woman who lives with her cat Pebbles. She's never been married - never even been kissed as she teasingly tells us.

The video clip is just over 7 minutes. I couldn't for a moment imagine waiting around for however long it would take to load that sucker up, but I was humoring my husband so I waited...and waited...and cleaned the living room...while waiting. Finally about the first two minutes of the clip loaded and I sat down to see what all the fuss was about.

Let me just say, I continued waiting just so I could see the entire clip! The voice that came out of such a seemingly plain woman was extraordinary. Where has she been hiding for so many years!?! I watched the stunned faces of the judges. I cried as this woman received well-deserved praise. I saw the effect she had on the entire audience. Even in this little living room here in an innocuous town in Utah, there were lives changed.

I hope you take the time to watch this clip, even if it means waiting an hour or two. I'm posting the link as I'm horrible at trying to figure out how to post videos. As you watch, keep in mind you never know what beautiful treasures are encased in what might seem a plain package.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PPlkOyaqaQ

He is Risen!

Early in the morning on the day after the Sabbath a mighty work was at hand. We know nothing of what occurred inside the Garden Tomb, testifying of the sacredness of the actual event, only that soon afterward the earth shook and two angels rolled away the great stone from the mouth of the tomb.

Two guards appointed by Pilate had been keeping watch. The chief scribes and Pharisees were so concerned with Christ’s prophecies about rising again they didn’t want to take any chances His followers would try any tricks (Matthew 27:62-64). In doing so they unintentionally gave quite a witness to the heavenly events. The two guards fainted at the sight.

Around this same time a group of women, many of whom had been disciples (devoted followers) of Jesus since He began His ministry in Galilee, were on their way to the tomb to anoint His body in the proper oils, thus giving Him the burial Jewish law required. They must have presented a desolate sight, grieving for the loss of their beloved leader and teacher.

The time line here gets a little fuzzy. Seeing the open tomb Mary Magdalene fears the worst. She runs to find Simon Peter, telling him, “They have taken away the Lord out of the sepulchre, and we know not where they have laid him” (John 20:2). Mary believed someone had taken the Lord’s body, unwilling to let Him rest in peace but causing mischief even in His death.

While this was going on the women had looked into the tomb and saw two angels within (We discover there were two angels through the inspired translation of Joseph Smith in the King James Version of the Bible). “Why seek ye the living among the dead?” the heavenly visitors ask (Luke 24:5). The women are told to go immediately and tell everyone Christ had indeed risen.

No one believed them at first. In their grief and agony at such a loss, it isn’t too hard to imagine their doubt. As the women went on proclaiming the good news Simon Peter and John raced to see the tomb for themselves. Mary Magdalene was perhaps forgotten in their wonder at the sight of Christ’s burial clothes left undisturbed on the stone bench (by this time it seems the angels had left). Only then did they realize what had happened: Jesus the Christ had been resurrected!

Mary Magdalene had not come to this knowledge. In her mind she could not get past grieving over the loss of the Lord. She still thought someone had taken Him away. James E. Talmage, an apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed the Mormon Church), describes Mary as a noble woman and devoted soul.

“Mary became one of the closest friends Christ had among women; her devotion to Him as her Healer and as the One whom she adored as the Christ was unswerving; she stood close by the cross while other women tarried afar off in the time of His mortal agony; she was among the first at the sepulchre on the resurrection morning” (Talmage, James E., Jesus the Christ, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1981, p.264-65).

Only when she found herself alone at the tomb did she look inside. Once again there were two angels who asked the grieving woman, “Why weepest thou?” to which she answered, “Because they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him” (John 20:13). She turned away from the tomb only to be met with the presence of another. She assumed he was the gardener, or caretaker of the garden. She also assumed he must know what had happened to the occupant of the tomb. When she is against asked why she is crying she responds, “Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away (John 20:15). She never calls Him by name.

Here is one of, in my eyes, the most beautiful events recorded in history. Perhaps it speaks to my heart of how the voice of someone we love, whether it be a treasured friend or family member, can be recognized even in the face of death. The man spoke just one word, “Mary.”

“One word from His living lips changed her agonized grief into ecstatic joy…. The voice, the tone, the tender accent she had heard and loved in the earlier days lifted her from the despairing depths into which she had sunk. She turned, and saw the Lord” (Talmage, James E., Jesus the Christ, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1981, p.681).

In her joy she reached out. Christ beckoned for her to pause. “Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend to my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God” (John 20:17).

Even as a resurrected being, when Christ could have stood in glory of what He had accomplished, He instead turns our attention to the Father.

Mary did what was asked of her, though again no one believed. How could they, when she hadn’t been able to understand until she saw the living Christ for herself? To Mary’s testimony came that of the other women. Once Christ had visited with our Father, He came to them, and then to others.

Christ was risen. All that He taught and prophesied had come to pass. He truly was the Messiah, the Redeemer of all mankind.

The Burial of Christ

There are two men in particular to thank for the proper, though hurried, burial of our Savior. If it weren’t for these two men Christ’s body would have been treated the same way as any other Jewish convicted criminal: tossed into a common grave. This was not a burial meant for the one who had just redeemed all of mankind.

This occurred to Joseph of Arimathaea. Joseph was a rich man and a member of the Sanhedrin, the ancient Jewish court. His relationship to Jesus is uncertain, though some non-scriptural scholars have thought he might be the brother of Anna, Christ’s grandmother. It is more likely he was simply a devoted follower.

Joseph of Arimathaea went to Pilate, a ruler appointed by Rome, and asked to have the body of Jesus Christ released to him upon death. Though it seems a simple enough act, Joseph showed great courage. Not only could he have angered Pilate, he would also face the resentment of the Jewish leaders who originally sought the life of Christ and the court with which he served.
Pilate granted Joseph’s wish. Once death was declared Joseph went into action. Jewish law dictated that burial occur before the end of the day which was quickly approaching. Time didn’t allow for a proper burial in the sense of the body being appropriately anointed. All they could do was wash Him, wrap the head and body, and lay the body amid spices.

This is where we’re introduced to the second man who is only briefly mentioned at this time. Nicodemus, another ruler of the Jews (John 3:1) as a member of the Sanhedrin, had been a devoted follower of Christ, even in defending Him against the chief priests and Pharisees (John 7:45-52). He bought a large amount of spices, myrrh and aloe to prepare Jesus’ body for burial. The purchase was actually so large it was compared to that of what was used in royal burials, which I’m sure Nicodemus felt was appropriate.

These two men are those who took down the body of Jesus Christ. They removed the spikes from His hands, wrists, and feet. They lovingly washed His body clean, and did all that was needed in the short time available. I cannot picture the scene without seeing tears running down their faces, just as many of us who have grieved for our own loved ones who have passed on.
Jesus Christ was buried in Joseph of Arimathaea’s new tomb, freely given by this disciple (John 19:41-42).


James E. Talmage sums up the next few events:

“The tomb was in a garden… Because of the nearness of the Sabbath the interment had to be made with haste; the door of the sepulchre was closed, a large stone was rolled against it; and thus laid away the body was left to rest” (Talmage, James E., Jesus the Christ, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1981, p.665).

Only a few women followed, though they didn’t enter the tomb. Their Sabbath day was soon to begin and so they planned to come back in a few days to complete the anointing. Little did they know what scene would meet them the next time they would come to the Garden Tomb.

Christ's Crucifixion, Last Words, and Death

We don’t know for certain where Golgotha is found. Many hymns and paintings over the years depict it as being on a hill, but none of the four gospels indicate this to be true. As we learn more about the culture and the times, we come to know crucifixions were done outside city walls along main roads. This was done to further humiliate the person being crucified, as well as a warning to others what would happen if they were caught.

We know Christ was crucified at nine o’clock in the morning (Mark 15:25). Spikes were driven through the palms of His hands as well as the wrists, and then into the feet, making sure no bones were broken in the process. At this point He would have been lifted up to the tree where everything would be nailed into place. Included in this was the sign written up by Pilate. It read:
Jesus of Nazareth the King of the Jews

As we read in John 19:19-22, the chief priests wanted Pilate to add two more words, so that the sign would read, “I am King of the Jews.” In this point Pilate finally stood firm. “What I have written I have written.” Pilate knew Jesus was innocent. Perhaps he also knew of Christ’s divinity.

Bruce R. McConkie describes some of what Christ went through on the cross.

“A death by crucifixion seems to include all that pain and death can have of the horrible and ghastly – dizziness, cramp, thirst, starvation, sleeplessness, traumatic fever, tetanus, publicity of shame, long continuance of torment, horror of anticipation, mortification of untended wounds, all intensified just up to the point at which they can be endured at all, but all stopping just short of the point which would give to the sufferer the relief of unconsciousness. The unnatural position made every movement painful…and, while each variety of misery went on gradually increasing, there was added to them the intolerable pang of a burning and raging thirst. Such was the death to which Christ was doomed” (McConkie, Bruce R., Donctrinal New Testament Commentary, vol. 1, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, p.816).

Everything Christ endured on the cross is horrible to think about. What is miraculous to me is through all of it He was concerned about others, as we can see in His last words.

1. “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Who were ‘they?’ Certainly not the men and soldiers who arrested, scourged, and mocked Him. None of these men had repented, nor deserved forgiveness. Christ was speaking to His Father in behalf of the soldiers who, following orders, nailed Him to the cross.

2. “Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43). Two thieves were also crucified at the same time as Christ. One of these men went so far as to begin mocking the Savior. The second thief rebuked the first, showing come compassion. Was he more concerned with himself, wondering if he might make it into heaven? This is certainly a possibility. Even so, his heart was in a better place, and Christ gave him some peace in the promise to meet in the world of Spirits.

3. “Woman, behold thy son! … Behold thy mother!” (John 19:26-27). One among a group of faithful women was the Lord’s own mother. How her heart must have suffered to see her beloved Son come to such an end. Near her stood John the Beloved, one of Christ’s own faithful followers. In putting the two of them together, He ensured His mother would be well taken care of.

4. “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). For me this is the most heart-wrenching cry to have been uttered from the Savior’s lips. At this moment He had gone through so much. So much! His life was ending, His body pushed to it’s limits. I think the only thing that kept Him going was His link to the Father, and now it had been removed. Now there was no angel to help support Him, no promise of a return, only darkness.

5. “I thirst” (John 19:28). At the removal of the Father’s light and life, Christ may have felt the physical torment to an even greater degree. Admitting such a base need truly testifies to the agony He was then suffering. Still, when offered, Christ declined, putting His mission before His own needs.

6. “It is finished” (John 19:30). In the footnotes of the King James version of the Bible put out by the Mormon Church we find a slightly different account as translated by inspiration through Joseph Smith. “It is finished, thy will is done.” Herein we see the completion of the Atonement. All that Christ suffered was at the will of the Father. In this moment, this blessed moment, Christ knows He has done all that the Father has asked.

7. “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit” (Luke 23:46). Christ gave up the ghost. It was His choice. He had power over His own death, as was given to Him by being the literal Son of the Father. Why is this so significant? It wasn’t the chief priests or Roman soldiers who brought about His death. Because of the light and life of the Father, which was in Him, Jesus could have lived on. This was in part the reason the Spirit left Christ, so that He could have total control over when to end His life, of His own free will and choice.

The earth quaked, the veil of the Temple ripped in two, mountains were laid low and valleys became mountains. The earth, and all that was upon it, mourned for the loss of its Creator. But somewhere in the afterlife was a Being who stood in the presence of countless loved ones, free of pain and sin, at last at peace. Only one thing more was required, and those on earth would have to wait three more days to see it happen.