Thursday, August 6, 2015

Day 2 of The Negative Thought Purge

Yesterday I went to see Sue, though not for me. This was the second visit for my daughter, M, who is also in need of some healing of the mind, body and spirit. I was definitely meant to be there with them both, as things took place to make a major shift in my knowledge of what's going on in my family. It also lead me to understand more the power of forgiveness. More on that later.

After last night's purge I felt better than the day before. So much so that when I sat down to write my negative thoughts it was difficult to come up with them. Instead of having a bunch of murky, nasty, vindictive, untrue statements flow easily from my mind I found myself feeling more contemplative. The bad beliefs went deeper and were harder to come up with. Why?

I truly believe it's because under the surface of all that negativity I had to fight to find the lies. Truth is beginning to resurface. There is the Light of Christ shining through again, though there is a lot of work yet to be done and a lot more healing to experience.

The first day I managed to fill almost all three pages. This time around I barely managed a page and a half. I probably could have done more but my spirit was too busy being filled with the beauty of watching the clouds roll quickly across the sky, flowing from one vibrant color to another as the sun settled behind the western mountains.I believe when I prayed for all the empty spots that had been occupied with the icky, murky, nasty thoughts that had taken root to instead be filled with peace, there was nowhere for nastiness to settle back in.

The peace and love of our Savior is truly incredible.

The overlying feeling left with my spirit was one of forgiveness. Forgiveness of others and of myself. So long as I held on to all of those negative beliefs there was no way I could forgive anyone, least of all imperfect me. If I can't forgive myself how can I possibly forgive others?

Forgiveness is freeing. It lightens the soul and gives room for peace. The natural man doesn't want to forgive. It wants to hold tight to grievances and grudges. That's not how the Savior works. He doesn't want to see us live that way. He wants us to be happy, even if we don't believe we can ever experience it, or deserve it.

Challenge for day 2 of your negative thought purge. After you've written down all of those negative thoughts for a second day in a row, pray for the spaces to be filled with peace and forgiveness. Even if you can't believe it'll make a difference, trust in the Savior.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

The Power of a Thought

In the last few weeks I've started to visit with an energy healer. I won't go into why at the moment, but yesterday's visit got me thinking about the power of thoughts.

Sue, my practitioner, told me it takes just as much energy to think of something positive as it does to think of something negative. Yet we always tend to gravitate toward thinking negatively, especially about ourselves. As I pondered this thought, I realized just how damaging or healing that one choice can be: will I tell myself something negative or something positive?

I hold deep within my mind and heart a lot - and I really do mean a LOT - of negative beliefs about myself. They all run along the lines of not being enough. For anyone. I'm not smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough, serious enough, rich enough, poor enough, outgoing enough, quiet enough, loud enough, fast enough, thin enough, social enough, religious enough, service-oriented enough, energetic enough...and the list goes on and on. Because of all these negative thoughts I've told myself and allowed others to tell me and convinced myself it's what people were saying to/about me I no longer exist. Not as I once was.

With every negative thought I gave away a tiny slice of my personal power. I now feel broken in my spirit, my mind and my body. I don't even believe I'm worth putting back together - and that's a very difficult thing to admit, because I thoroughly believe everyone else in this world is worth fixing. So why not me?

Sue gave me some homework for the next seven days. I am to find a quiet spot, I am to start with a prayer, and then I am to take three blank pages and begin writing down every negative belief I have about myself. Not holding back. Just let it all out. When I was done I was NOT to go back and reread it, but to crumple it up and either burn the pages or throw them away. After those seven days I am supposed to do the opposite. I am to take three blank pages and begin writing down every positive thing about myself - even if I don't necessarily believe it. I can write things others have said about me if I can't think of anything myself, just as long as they are positive I AM statements.

I began my first list of negative things tonight. To be honest I didn't think I'd be able to write much. Once the words got going I couldn't stop. I had no idea I believed so many bad things about myself!  After half an hour my mind was exhausted. I had filled up a lot more of those three pages than I thought I could, and I felt...better. It was as though a huge weight had been lifted off my heart. As I'd been instructed I didn't read over what I'd written. Instead the papers were promptly crumpled up and I threw them away. Since my mind felt empty of all negativity I figured it might be a good idea to finish the assignment with a prayer, asking only for the empty spots to be filled with peace.

I cried through most of that purge. It was interesting to see which thoughts caused me the most pain to write. Those thoughts, those beliefs about myself, they were the most telling. It's taken many years of negative thinking for me to get this bad, therefore I know it will take quite some time to reverse the damage done. Right now my biggest hope is to feel as though I am worth fixing - feel this so intensely I actually believe it! So that when I wake up in the morning telling myself I can and will live life in abundance it won't feel like a lie.

Thoughts are powerful. They can make or break a person. Consider what you tell yourself every day. One of the happiest and loveliest women I know weighs over 300 pounds, but constantly tells herself how awesome she is - AND SHE IS!!! She truly believes it and after being told so many times over, we all believe it too.

The next time you feel as though you are drowning in negative thoughts, I encourage you to write them all down. Purge your mind of them. Then throw the papers away. Pray for peace to fill those empty spaces and begin trading those negative thoughts for positive. I'd love to hear how it changes your own lives!