Thursday, April 22, 2010

Oh No. Mom's Flirting Again

I was having an awesome day yesterday - just plain oodles of fun all around. It had been a lovely morning with the kids, we went to Costco for a cheap lunch and met up with my sweet friend Debbie, had a wonderful afternoon together, then decided to hit up McDonald's for dinner just so we wouldn't have to create dishes to wash.

My mood was up. And I'm talkin' WAY up. Make a bit of a fool of myself being silly, sort of up. So when the cute little male cashier was in a chipper mood as well we just started having fun bantering back and forth.

After paying too much money for food I didn't need, the family starting getting drinks and napkins and ketchup galore. We found a place to sit, daddy took the littlest to the bathroom, and M got a very serious look on her face.

"Mom, I'm gonna tell on you."

I had no idea what she could possibly be talking about. What did I do? Get her the wrong drink? Why did that constitute a bit of tattling? And precisely who was she going to tell?

"You," she said in a very serious tone, "were flirting with that guy."

WHAT!?!?! I burst out laughing. Then I laughed harder when I realized she was serious.

"I was not flirting," I firmly declared, but she would not believe me. Now you have to understand I'm not exactly known for my flirting skills. You can ask my husband. I'm way too open and up front, and will tell you directly how I feel. So the fact that my oldest thinks I have skills in this area doesn't exactly speak wonders for her future with boys (something I am far too happy about).

Rolling my eyes I went back to the front to wait for our food. The sheer idea of that boy (and let's be honest, he was WAY younger than me) thinking this pudgy, 30 (muffle) year old woman who has given birth to five kids and looks like it might be flirting with him almost sent me into another fit of giggles.

Whilst I waited my darling daughter did indeed tattle to her daddy, who - being the sweet, understanding, patient man he is - promptly began to tease me. And I - being the sweet, understanding, patient woman I am - began to tease our daughter.

By the end of the night I'm pretty certain M regretted saying anything about her mother flirting. In fact, if it were possible I'm also pretty certain she would have gladly dug a hole in the ground to hide until we were finished with the teasing.

When it was time to go we'd come to the conclusion it was time to start looking out for my next husband because my current one was obviously going to die soon. I was overjoyed he was willing to help me in my search. M declared she didn't want a step-father. Obviously this is something she's just going to have to deal with since I'm all ready on the look out for a replacement. It would also seem I'm on the prowl for a younger man with great cashiering skills and a bubbly personality.

So if you see me flirting with anyone, just beware. He could be my next victim. Mwooahahahaha...

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