Tuesday, July 8, 2008

An Angel on Earth

I had amazing writing plans this week. I was going to post all I needed for teens on LDSBlogs.com. I was going to share with you oodles of way-cool spiritual insights I'd gained on Sunday. I was going to keep going in both my scriptural journal and my regular journal.

Then my world kinda skewed.

It's nothing tragic, unless you're me. About 2 1/2 years ago the most remarkable woman I've ever met moved in right across the street. I was doubly excited because her older boy was just the same age as my older boy.

Natalie has been like a balm to my soul. At the time she moved in I was feeling extremely low due to another friend having moved away. I don't make friends easily. I'm not talking about being socially acquainted with someone, nor about really liking someone you talk with once or twice a week. I'm talking about meeting with someone who opens up her entire heart to you, and finding your own hesitant heart welcoming such a warm spirit. I had been so lonely even my sweet parents had been praying for someone just like her to come into my life.

I don't easily hand my children over to someone else, even if it's just for a play date. Yet I never had to worry about them going over to Natalie's house. I knew they'd be well taken care of, and well loved. She had a most remarkably giving heart, rarely asking for anything in return. Though she was not active in our church, she never made me feel awkward about sharing my love of the gospel and my involvement in it. Though I outweigh her by a good 100 pounds, and she's infinitely more beautiful than I am, I never felt it. She mothered me and loved me so thoroughly I might have been another one of her sisters.

Throughout the last three or four months, Natalie's been trying to prepare me for this day. I knew it was coming, but I still wasn't prepared for the rush of emotion that overtook me when she uttered the words, "We've sold our house."

I cried hard for a half hour after we hung up our phones. I burst into intermittant sobs for an hour after that. My poor children and sweet husband kept giving me hugs to let me know they understood I was feeling sad. I even had to go to the dentist with this hanging over my head.

I've been trying really hard to be supportive, but worry I've been coming off cold. I don't want her to feel bad that she's moving away as I can see how much it hurts whenever my older boy's face tears up every time it's been mentioned. This is such a wonderful opportunity for their family, and with as quickly as it came about I know it was supposed to happen. Unfortunately it doesn't make the intense ache in my heart any easier to bear.

This post today is dedicated to anyone out there who has a friend like this, but especially to anyone out there who is a friend like this. Most of all I dedicate this to an angel on this earth who my Heavenly Father knew would heal my lonely heart.


Josie said...

Ahh, I'm so sorry. I feel for you. I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I do feel for you. Living in a college setting for the past five years, I know how it is to have friends come and go, and it never gets any easier to lose them. That's why my favorite hymn is#293, "Each Life that Touches ours for Good." Everyone tells me it's funeral song, which it is, but to me it's also a friend moving away song. I hope you can make a new friend and that everything will work out for you.

Cynthia said...

I too have an angel friend (non-member) across my street. Our boys play together. She is one of the greatest people and I feel blessed to know her. If she moved, I too would be sad...I wish you the best in dealing this! Thanks for sharing your story.