Saturday, February 21, 2009

Sunday Inspirations February 22, 2009

I am, by no stretch of the imagination, an articulate woman. When it comes to conversing face-to-face or even over the telephone I find myself flustered, stuttering, and struggling to find an answer to any question asked. The funny thing is, this annoying trait of mine has nothing to do with having a lack of things to say, nor an inability to come up with an answer. Rather, it has everything to do with the flood of words that pop into my head.

For example, you ask me how my day is. I might say, “Fine.” While the word ‘fine’ is attempting to make it’s way from my brain to my mouth six other ways to say it are fighting their way out as well. “Doing good.” “Awesome.” “Hangin’ in there.” “I’m all right.” “So far so good.” "Not too shabby!"

See what I mean? By the time I’ve finally settled on a word an awkward amount of time has passed and I only needed to say, “Fine.” Can you imagine what it must be like when I’m asked a question that requires more than one simple word? I’m a mess…and I sound like it. My biggest problem there is even as one answer pops into my head the writer in me automatically starts revising the statement, attempting to come up with the best way in which to phrase everything.

Can you imagine the chaos that is my mind? I’ve warned you more than once, my friends.

So what does all this have to do with an inspirational Sunday? There are moments, precious enough for me to recognize them even as they are happening, when the words coming out of my inarticulate mouth are beyond beautiful. They move with a fluidity I do not posses during most of my waking hours. It is in these moments a specific scripture rings true:

“And it shall be given thee in the very moment what thou shalt speak and write” (D&C 24:6).

When do these moments happen for me? Most often when I’m teaching. I have such a passion for teaching, and I am able to live that passion every time I prepare and give a lesson to my young women. But this isn’t the only time I teach. Every once in a while my children will come to me with a question, one I know I need to answer and not simply brush off. Ones which are relevant to how their values and moral ideas will be molded. Ones which could be answered in erroneous ways by mistaken individuals, which could lead my children down dark and painful paths. In those moments my mind becomes clear, and my words simple yet effective.

Perhaps my favorite moments, however, are those when I have an opportunity to speak or give a talk. Because those are the times I am allowed to use this blessed gift of mine to write, to put my thoughts down in ways that are clearly beyond my mortal self. And I can rewrite them as many times as I want. At times like this I am given the chance to show others the way things come together in my head.

I am fully aware of my faults. They are certainly plentiful, yet I am grateful for them. It is because of these faults that I find myself aware of what great things come to pass when I stop relying on myself.

I am also aware that when things truly count, when I put enough trust in the Lord to cover me when I’m not strong enough, remarkable things can happen. But they happen with His help. Remember this scripture:

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).

So what is your weakness? In what areas are you unable to do all you wish to do, though spurts of greatness seem to unexpectedly happen upon you? Be grateful for your weaknesses. You never know when they might prove to be your greatest strengths.

1 comment:

Ellen said...

Laurie, like you, I love to write things out so I can think them through and say them just right. When Jim and I give talks, for example, he researches and reads lots of different things and writes very little down and then tries to follow the spirit as to what to say in the moment. For me, I write it all out, and re-write it, and re-write it again and again. I pray that the spirit will do its prompting while I'm doing the preparing. That's also why I like letters and email, is so I can re-write and say things just so and have some control over what people perceive is coming from my heart.

I think you do great all those ways--writing, giving talks, speaking in-person. We come in all shapes and sizes of comforts, desires, needs, bodies, thoughts and everything.

Well, now I'm not expressing myself very well even though I'm writing. Oh, well, I'm not going to fix it, but rather will trust that I'm making enough sense for people who know me to know that I mean well. Just know that I think you're the greatest you there is! I'm grateful that you're my sister-in-law and friend, and I admire all the good things you do with and for your husband and children and friends. I think you're pretty special!