Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Feeling Helpless in Trials

I'm struggling this morning, as my status on Facebook openly states. It's hard when you're enduring trials, whether they be physical, emotional, or spiritual. Yet rarely seen, but just as harsh, are the hearts breaking because there's nothing they can do to help those enduring the pain.

My younger son, B, has had headaches for close to four months now. At times these aches are fairly mild, to the point he rarely says a word, even though they never actually go away. Other times, such as these last two weeks, the pain is bad. He can barely sleep at night. His tummy feels upset most of the day long. He keeps to activities that don't require a lot of action, like playing on the computer or having Mom read to him.

Yet through it all he rarely complains. He seems to contain a giant of a man, one who is courageous and perservering and strong, placed into a little boy's body. He's everything tender and loving, always giving hugs and kisses, cuddling, and telling me how much he loves me.

So when he looks up at me with those big, blue eyes, and says, "Mom, my head really hurts," my heart absolutely breaks. I know for him to utter those words the pain has to be pretty bad, and I feel utterly unable to help. Normal pain meds don't take away the pain. I've tried the same methods we used on his big sister when she started getting headaches, but it doesn't do a thing.

I know it's only through great pain that we learn the greatest lessons. But it's never easy to watch it happen in someone so innocent. This little man, this beautiful example of what it means to submit to the Father's will, is my hero.


Emily said...

OH no Laurie! I am so sorry about this! I know how heart-wrenching it is when your child is struggling and you wish you could ease the pain or take it away! I hope he is doing better and recovers soon. I will keep you in our prayers.

I nominated you on my blog! Come see!

Greg and Talena said...

I am sorry B I hope things will get fixed soon.

Anonymous said...

That's awful! I know what you mean by someone so innocent having to deal with such big trials. I've wondered for years why children have to endure so much. I'll keep your family in my prayers. I hope all of you are doing better soon! Especially B!

LaurieW said...

Thanks ladies. I appreciate your sweet and loving words. It's never easy to watch our little ones suffer. I did want to say he was doing better when he got out of school. Not great, but better. I'll take what I can get :)

Josie and Wayne said...

You know, I never understood why my mom cried when I did, or even cried for me when I was in pain and I wasn't even crying. I never understood the pain she was going through, watching me going through pain until I became a mother and had to watch my own kids be in pain. There is nothing like being a parent to help us understand even a tiny bit what our Heavenly Parents must feel for us. I hope you can find out what the problem is.