Sunday Inspirations February 8, 2009

It's closing in on 5 pm and only now have I found a few minutes to sit and write. I have to make it quick because we're heading up to see Grandma & Grandpa R as soon as I drag myself away from the computer.

So let's make this quick.

Our Heavenly Father knows us. He knows us better than we could ever possibly know ourselves. He knows us individually. He's aware of our likes and dislikes, our strengths and our weaknesses, etc. He know us.

Most of me recognizes this as truth, yet there are times it's driven home so hard I can hardly believe what I'm experiencing. Such a thing happened this last week as I chatted with one of my sil's. I was preparing for bed and just getting off Facebook chat when she made a little comment that stopped me in my tracks. I felt very inspired to sit down and write her an e-mail, and was given some truth about myself as well.

Last year I was given a priesthood blessing by my husband. In this blessing I was told I needed to go back to school. In typical "Laurie" fashion I immediately freed up loads of time. I downgraded to volunteer status on LDSBlogs, and eventually stopped blogging there altogether. I finished up a bunch of projects I'd been working on, and didn't press myself to try writing in my book (which, due to my depression, I'd let go for too long). By the time I was done I was literally dripping with time.

I applied to SLCC, where I was promptly accepted. My decision to go there was made on three simple things. First, it's close. Second, it's cheaper than a university. And third, I'd gone there many years before, and was delighted to discover many of my credits were still good.

When it came time to really try and register for classes, however, I was stumped. Things simply weren't going my way, and I eventually decided (after my husband drilled it into my head) that I didn't necessarily have to go NOW.

So I've been trying to figure out why at this time Heavenly Father told me I needed to go to school. Couldn't He have waited a few years until things would work better? Like when A is in school, and we could really look into financial aid and all that?

It was only when I put the e-mail to my sil together that I finally got why I was told now what I need to do in a few years, and it boils down to five little words: My Heavenly Father knows me! He knows my passionate and consuming nature. He knows if He tells me to do something I'll throw myself into it. And He knows I need to work things out in my mind for a while before an idea really sinks in.

Not only does He know me, but He knows my children as well. He knows they need their mom right now. He knows I've been so consumed with projects and writing I tend to put their needs second when they don't seem so important to me, like taking a half hour to color with B because he loves to color with Mom. He knows me. He knows my kids.

I cleared my schedule thinking I would fill it with school, but that was not His intention. Instead He told me something I will certainly be doing in a few years to come, but gave me the gift of time to accomplish what needs to happen now. Things like spend time with my children, support my husband in his calling, and better prepare us for any emergency through home/food storage.

Yep. There's no doubt about it. My Heavenly Father knows me. What does He know about you?