Day 2 of The Negative Thought Purge

Yesterday I went to see Sue, though not for me. This was the second visit for my daughter, M, who is also in need of some healing of the mind, body and spirit. I was definitely meant to be there with them both, as things took place to make a major shift in my knowledge of what's going on in my family. It also lead me to understand more the power of forgiveness. More on that later.

After last night's purge I felt better than the day before. So much so that when I sat down to write my negative thoughts it was difficult to come up with them. Instead of having a bunch of murky, nasty, vindictive, untrue statements flow easily from my mind I found myself feeling more contemplative. The bad beliefs went deeper and were harder to come up with. Why?

I truly believe it's because under the surface of all that negativity I had to fight to find the lies. Truth is beginning to resurface. There is the Light of Christ shining through again, though there is a lot of work yet to be done and a lot more healing to experience.

The first day I managed to fill almost all three pages. This time around I barely managed a page and a half. I probably could have done more but my spirit was too busy being filled with the beauty of watching the clouds roll quickly across the sky, flowing from one vibrant color to another as the sun settled behind the western mountains.I believe when I prayed for all the empty spots that had been occupied with the icky, murky, nasty thoughts that had taken root to instead be filled with peace, there was nowhere for nastiness to settle back in.

The peace and love of our Savior is truly incredible.

The overlying feeling left with my spirit was one of forgiveness. Forgiveness of others and of myself. So long as I held on to all of those negative beliefs there was no way I could forgive anyone, least of all imperfect me. If I can't forgive myself how can I possibly forgive others?

Forgiveness is freeing. It lightens the soul and gives room for peace. The natural man doesn't want to forgive. It wants to hold tight to grievances and grudges. That's not how the Savior works. He doesn't want to see us live that way. He wants us to be happy, even if we don't believe we can ever experience it, or deserve it.

Challenge for day 2 of your negative thought purge. After you've written down all of those negative thoughts for a second day in a row, pray for the spaces to be filled with peace and forgiveness. Even if you can't believe it'll make a difference, trust in the Savior.

The Power of a Thought

In the last few weeks I've started to visit with an energy healer. I won't go into why at the moment, but yesterday's visit got me thinking about the power of thoughts.

Sue, my practitioner, told me it takes just as much energy to think of something positive as it does to think of something negative. Yet we always tend to gravitate toward thinking negatively, especially about ourselves. As I pondered this thought, I realized just how damaging or healing that one choice can be: will I tell myself something negative or something positive?

I hold deep within my mind and heart a lot - and I really do mean a LOT - of negative beliefs about myself. They all run along the lines of not being enough. For anyone. I'm not smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough, serious enough, rich enough, poor enough, outgoing enough, quiet enough, loud enough, fast enough, thin enough, social enough, religious enough, service-oriented enough, energetic enough...and the list goes on and on. Because of all these negative thoughts I've told myself and allowed others to tell me and convinced myself it's what people were saying to/about me I no longer exist. Not as I once was.

With every negative thought I gave away a tiny slice of my personal power. I now feel broken in my spirit, my mind and my body. I don't even believe I'm worth putting back together - and that's a very difficult thing to admit, because I thoroughly believe everyone else in this world is worth fixing. So why not me?

Sue gave me some homework for the next seven days. I am to find a quiet spot, I am to start with a prayer, and then I am to take three blank pages and begin writing down every negative belief I have about myself. Not holding back. Just let it all out. When I was done I was NOT to go back and reread it, but to crumple it up and either burn the pages or throw them away. After those seven days I am supposed to do the opposite. I am to take three blank pages and begin writing down every positive thing about myself - even if I don't necessarily believe it. I can write things others have said about me if I can't think of anything myself, just as long as they are positive I AM statements.

I began my first list of negative things tonight. To be honest I didn't think I'd be able to write much. Once the words got going I couldn't stop. I had no idea I believed so many bad things about myself!  After half an hour my mind was exhausted. I had filled up a lot more of those three pages than I thought I could, and I felt...better. It was as though a huge weight had been lifted off my heart. As I'd been instructed I didn't read over what I'd written. Instead the papers were promptly crumpled up and I threw them away. Since my mind felt empty of all negativity I figured it might be a good idea to finish the assignment with a prayer, asking only for the empty spots to be filled with peace.

I cried through most of that purge. It was interesting to see which thoughts caused me the most pain to write. Those thoughts, those beliefs about myself, they were the most telling. It's taken many years of negative thinking for me to get this bad, therefore I know it will take quite some time to reverse the damage done. Right now my biggest hope is to feel as though I am worth fixing - feel this so intensely I actually believe it! So that when I wake up in the morning telling myself I can and will live life in abundance it won't feel like a lie.

Thoughts are powerful. They can make or break a person. Consider what you tell yourself every day. One of the happiest and loveliest women I know weighs over 300 pounds, but constantly tells herself how awesome she is - AND SHE IS!!! She truly believes it and after being told so many times over, we all believe it too.

The next time you feel as though you are drowning in negative thoughts, I encourage you to write them all down. Purge your mind of them. Then throw the papers away. Pray for peace to fill those empty spaces and begin trading those negative thoughts for positive. I'd love to hear how it changes your own lives!

Rediscovering My Voice

Medically there was nothing wrong. My thyroid was normal. There was nothing swollen or out of place. No abnormal growth of cells to explain away the feeling there was something unusual in my neck. Everything was fine. Everything except this uncomfortable feeling that something...something wasn't fine.

I would lay down at night and find it difficult to breathe, as though a ball had been inserted into my neck. I could still breathe, of course, otherwise I wouldn't be writing to you today, but it wasn't with the ease I had previously experienced. I went in for testing. I was now the proud owner of a cpap machine to help me at night. The only problem - I still felt some sort of blockage.

I am a big supporter of what has been termed "Western" and "Holistic" medicine. It's no secret I love to use essential oils, as those are the medicines God originally placed on the earth to help us in the first place. I also believe God has inspired men and women to bring about the extraordinary methods to help treat illnesses in these modern times, and to dismiss them isn't respecting what God has put in place. I believe there is a beautiful middle where both can be used to the sufferer's benefit.

This last year I have been introduced to different types - modalities - of energy healing. I had no idea how many types there were. It came through my parents' introducing me to the "Emotion Code". From there I have attempted some research and even went to a conference about energy healing. In the last few weeks I came to realize the block in my neck is an emotional block. Specifically, the emotion of being silenced.

I don't care for the imagery and feelings that come with the term "chakras" as it's been mystified and corrupted over thousands of years. There is, unfortunately, no other ways to term the energy pathways of the body. It's certainly not a new concept, not for me. I'd dealt with similar things when I did allergy elimination. In different areas of the body there are different energy centers. Because my block appeared in my neck, I knew it was my voice that had been silenced.

I went to see a woman recently who works on chakras, as well as other things. She told me many things, much of which made a whole lot of sense about different things I'd been dealing with as she explained them, including the block in my neck. The biggest way to fix them? Take back my personal power.

Sounds cheesy, doesn't it? I had to take a long, prayerful look at the last few years to see where exactly I had lost my way. With the guidance of Heavenly Father I began to see little choices I had made to let others dictate what was good or bad for me, and about me. This even included the members of my own family, though none of it was intentional. I began to see with spiritual eyes that the person God needed me to become was being lost in what everyone else thought I ought to become. Deep within myself was the unaccountable knowledge that I did not have enough confidence in myself and the inspirations of the Lord in regards to His plans for me to do what I knew to be right. Instead I would cave in to what others felt was more important.

Over the last month I have worked hard to recognize these little choices. I have been asserting my own needs and desires. I have even spoken up instead of backing down when certain people have stated things I knew was not right. One funny thing occurred after my first session - my singing voice started to return. I haven't been able to sing with power in so long I thought my voice damaged. In a way it was.

It's been over a year since I last posted here. It's not for a lack of trying. No matter how much preparation I would do, what time of day I would sit down to write, nothing would come out. Ideas and thoughts would flow through my mind at hurricane speed, demanding an outlet. Not a word could be typed, because my voice was blocked.

This post right here, it's a huge step. My wishes and desires to voice my own opinions and beliefs feel like a reality now, rather than a dream. I am once more making an effort to keep my power where it belongs. With me.

My Diet Coke Conundrum

According to Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, the definition of conundrum is as follows: a riddle whose answer is or involves a pun; a question or problem having only a conjectural answer; an intricate and difficult problem.

After looking up the term 'conjectural' (fancy word for best guess) I've decided last part of the definition best suits my, uh, situation.

Several years (and kids) ago I stopped drinking all types of soda pop, as with each pregnancy I'd start to like less and less foods and drink. Soda especially turned my tummy upside down. I was doing pretty good too...until my last pregnancy hit. I was desperately sick and the only two things that EVER sounded good were the banana flavored Slurpee and Diet Coke.

My desire for Slurpee's ended with the birth of my youngest, but my love of Diet Coke did not. In fact, I'm quite certain I gained 20 pounds this last year because my love turned into an all out addiction. I'm really not kidding when I use the term addiction. While still draining one day's super-duper-double-triple-mega-awesome load of DC, I was all ready trying to figure out how to arrange my next 'fix' for the next day. It had to be sneaky otherwise it might look like I had a problem (oh no! I sucked up the last drop! There must be some more around here somewhere...).

The crazy thing is I needed the stuff as much for the tasty fix it provided as well as the manic spurts of energy it created. I could actually get things done around the house (and then some!) when I'd indulged. Therefore, in the addicted mind's logical way of thinking, drinking more was a good thing.

Right?

I knew it was getting bad when I'd stop in the local convenience store after dropping off the kids at school to get a giant cup of it, then not have a problem with going back later with my husband and getting another giant cup full. Every once in a while I'd start noticing the plastic bottles littering my side of the bed because I'd gotten too lazy to simply throw them out. It began to hit me - I was a Diet Coke-aholic!

Getting to the root of any addiction isn't easy, but mine was. I was tired. I was deeply tired all the time. Right down to the marrow of my bones tired. The problem wasn't depression, for I was sad or angry. I was, very simply, tired. So into the doctor I went, and the words I'd been dreading (hence my avoidance of my doctor) came directly out of his mouth: you need to go in an do a sleep apnea test.

NO! Say it ain't so!

Everyone I had ever talked to about taking the test would thrash their arms, and gnash their teeth and moan as though there was no tomorrow! Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad, but I was not looking forward to taking the test. I won't describe what happened (saving it for another post) but let's just say it was no where near as bad as I'd thought it would be.

What did surprise me, however, was an unexpected side effect from being on the CPAP machine for only 3 1/2 hours: I had energy to spare the rest of the week. In fact, I didn't even think about needing a nap until about five days later. It was amazing. AND - are you ready for this? - I didn't require Diet Coke to keep me going.

I KNOW!!! It was remarkable and exciting and exhilarating all wrapped up into a fantastic little energy ball. With this knowledge of what could be awaiting me I decided with the New Year there would be no more Diet Coke for me.

It's been a week. I'm in dire need of a fix!!! Even now I'm sitting at my computer knowing there is so much I need to get done and yet I have no energy to do it. I have projects that have been sitting around forEVER, and they will continue to do so. Why? Because I'm trying to be a good girl and not drink Diet Coke.

Funny thing is I'm not having withdrawals as I'd expected: no nasty headaches, no shaking, no crawling up the walls or periodic fits of hysterical crying. Instead there is simply the intense desire for enough energy to make it through the morning and pretend like I did something.

What I didn't count on was how long the process of going from the sleep test to actually getting the machine would be. It's closing in on a month and to my knowledge the doctors from the sleep clinic haven't even gone over my results yet. Then there's the part where I consult with my own doctor, and then we have to get together with the insurance company as well as the company that provides the equipment. What I thought could be done in two weeks or so might actually take up to two or three months.

In the meantime, I'm in agony as to what to do. Do I stick with my goal of no Diet Coke and simply suffer until things are worked out and I'm sleeping better at night? Or do I give in for now and wait until I'm on the machine in the hopes I can function better than I am right now? On the one hand I feel as though I'm giving in to my addiction and giving up on my goal, on the other hand I feel as though I'm giving myself a chance to do what I need to get done until the means to get off the Diet Coke is available.

Do you see what I mean by the Diet Coke conundrum?

It's Okay to Say No and NOT Feel Guilty!

For someone who only made it through Primary today, I'm feeling greatly inspired to sit down and write about a particular subject. There was a comment made by our stake leaders to the bishopric and Primary presidency about our lack of participation in the recent Pioneer Day parade. Our stake had put together a float that was chosen to be a participant in our biggest parade day for Utah. The children of the stake were invited to walk along with the float, and I hear there was one of the First Presidency in the float just behind them.

It's true our particular ward typically has the most attendance (though really not so much during the summer months), so of course at least one child should have been present, right? Three of those kids happen to be my own. My husband is the bishop. I myself am in the Primary organization. If anyone should have had a kid present it should have been us, right?

I am going to sit up straight, put on my sweetest smile, and say no. No. No! And I don't feel one bit guilty about it. Saying that one little word was not something I could have done just a few months ago. There was a time I would have pushed myself to do something I not only didn't want to do, but did not have the energy or strength to accomplish. I also would have resented every minute I felt forced to do it.

One of the things my therapist and I have been working on is changing my beliefs that everyone else comes first, my needs come last, and if I don't do it I'm being selfish. Turns out this isn't true. My needs HAVE to come first.

In Mosiah 4:27 we read: "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order: for it is not requisite that man should run faster than he has strength."

"How do we know when we are running faster than we have strength? We develop physical and emotional symptoms. Continual stress triggers such physical symptoms as headaches, high blood pressure, stomach aches, ulcers, eczema, heart palpitations, etc.; ... stress is certainly a major contributor to depression and its symptoms, i.e. tiredness, crying spells, sleep disturbance - either sleeping too much or sleeping too little, appetite disturbance - either eating too much or eating too little, difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, and suicidal thoughts. If a person develops these symptoms he or she is certainly 'running father than he [or she] has strength.'"

This quote is from my therapist's book "Spiritual Therapy". In chapter 7 which goes into neglecting our own needs Dr. Shelton talks about a question asked by President Harold B. Lee regarding our priorities and responsibilities.

"An anxious physician worried that because of his profession and church responsibilities, he was neglecting his own son, (and) asked President Lee how [he] should handle [his] time? What is most important in life? How do I do it all? President Lee replied: A man's first responsibility is to himself, then to his family, then to Church, realizing that we have responsibility to excel in our profession as well. He then stressed that a man must take care of his own health, both physically and emotionally, before he can be a blessing to others."

Imagine that. A prophet of God saying the one who should come first in our lives is...ourselves! Let's stress for a moment the fact that there is a difference between the things we need, and the things we want. Needs are essential for balance in our lives. We must eat well, get plenty of rest, take time to meditate, pray, exercise, read scriptures, and make this time you put aside for yourself necessary. Feel free not to answer the phone. Tell your children you'll fulfill their wants as soon as you're done with your hour. Set up boundaries so others will see it's good to make your own needs as important as those of others.

Even Christ knew it was necessary to take time out for Himself. He spent so much of His time teaching and healing and walking and doing the work of His Father. Yet when His body began to suffer, He would willingly go into the wilderness to pray. Once when He visited Mary and Martha, the latter sister became frustrated because she found herself doing all the work while Mary sat and listened to the Savior. When she thought to complain, Christ reproved her, letting her know Mary had chosen something to help keep herself balanced. Housework would always be there. The time at hand needed to be spent choosing to feed themselves spiritually. Had Martha recognized this, the frustration and anger that popped up would not have been an issue.

Many of the symptoms of running faster than we can walk listed above have been things I've experienced an awful lot of most of my life. I'm hoping to go more into some of the negative core beliefs I've had and how they have changed in the next little while. I wanted to go through this one today for one simple fact: I have nothing to feel guilty about. I love my church. I love my ward. I love the members and leaders of our stake. But I also love myself, and I know when it's necessary to say no to the expectations of others while saying yes to taking care of me. And there is no reason to feel guilty about it.

The truth is, not only myself and my husband, but all the members of the bishopric and our Primary presidency either already had something going on, or felt it was more important to take care of the needs of our family first. We cannot control what other choose to do, or not do, and there is no need to feel bad for what may appear to be coming up short in the eyes of others. Not even when fingers are pointing.

If I could offer you one challenge this week (one Dr. Shelton gives me continually), it's to take one hour a day out and do things strictly for you. Say no to those who might impose on this hour, and when the guilt comes take a deep breath, hold it, and then let it all go.

The Beauty We See

I've been enjoying some fairly awesome roses the last few days. They have been in full bloom and the scent is just heavenly. I was thinking about the beauty we see in nature, not only flowers but trees, streams, lakes, butterflies, ladybugs, and other marvels. Each and every one of these things was created by our Lord. We are hardpressed to look at them and think anything bad of them.

Well, except maybe when we see spiders (shiver).

Yet when it comes to ourselves, the pinnacle of God's creations, we are so apt to be critical. We wish we were skinnier, more toned, had more muscle, had less freckles, had different color eyes, or a better head of hair. We look at ourselves and instead of seeing the beauty, we look for the imperfections.

What if we were to do the same thing to the above flower. When one takes a really close look one can see imperfections as well. What if the flower could speak, and criticized itself as we do to ourselves? One of my petals is ripped, I don't like my color, there are too many leaves on my stem, these petals are curling too much, and some are starting to wilt.

Does it sound a bit silly? Especially when we can only see how absolutely gorgeous it is?

We are the most beloved creations of our God. Take some time to look at and recognize the beauty in yourself. Make a list of ten things you love about the way you look, or gifts you might have. Add to this list as time goes by. Ask friends to add to the list as well. Then when you feel apt to think the worst about yourself, you can come back to this list and see the truth!

Laurie's First Counseling Appointment

I was nervous. Really nervous. Like giant bats in the tummy sort of nervous. For me it had little to do with saying or doing something wrong. Rather I was fully prepared for whoever it was to say, "You're fine. Why are you here?"

I was first asked to fill out some papers - I know, it's quite a shocker. Who would have thought a therapist might need to assess his patient? It was interesting, though, to sit down and take a good look at myself: how I handle things, my thoughts regarding myself, my relationships with family and friends.

In just a few statements, wherein I was asked to rate the accuracy or inaccuracy of each one as it applied to me, I began to see a pattern emerging. When it came to any statement involving perceptions of myself, I automatically marked down the worst number it gave me. I thought about that during the few minutes I had to myself before Dr. J came to get me. One thought in particular kept coming to the forefront of my mind: no matter how often those around me tell me how great or sweet or loving I am, I cannot see myself as being worthy of the compliment. There's always this niggling voice in the very back, darkened corner of my mind that asks, "Are you really all that great? Or are they just saying it to be nice?"

As Dr. J and I sat and talked, he began going over some basic questions to see where I stood in my life. After just a few minutes he sat back and said, "Well, Laurie, I'm not quite sure why we're here talking today." Oh no! This really WAS a waste of his time! Luckily he didn't stop there :) He asked what ultimately brought me in and I began to describe to him all that had been happening lately with my depression, my struggles at not being able to fix things for everyone, and how much I wasn't able to handle stress in my life. Then I told him what I hoped to get out of our sessions: when the depression triggers would start and I could tell things might go downhill quickly, I wanted to know the tools to help myself before the depression took over.

After quite a bit of talking he began to tell me about Cogninive Therapy, something he wanted to try with me. He said there were three different areas involved in treating depression. I've already tended to one with medication. The other two involve environment and attitude. All three sections affect each other. They interlock. If one begins to falter, the other two will soon follow. Conversely, if one is in the depths of depression and begins working on just one area, the other two will begin to get better.

I could see some truth in that. I've been on medication for about a year, and while most of the time I'm doing really well, I still struggle. As I listened to Dr. J I realized it's because I've only changed one area without focusing on the other two.

He recommended a book, "Mind Over Mood," by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A. Padesky. It's a workbook he said had helped so many of his patients, and he felt as though it could help me as well. He gave me an example of how our initial thoughts in any situation can influence our mood.

Think of a man who hears a crash in the middle of the night. If his first thought is, "Someone's breaking into the house!" how is he going to feel? Frightened, anxious, etc. His body will react to these initial thoughts. Now what if this same man hears a crash in the middle of the night and his first thought is, "Darn cat!" what might he feel? Annoyance, irritation, etc. Two very different thoughts creating very different reactions.

Cognitive Therapy is supposed to help me recognize the trouble thoughts and replace them with others that will have a healthier impact on my body and mood.

I just picked the book up today. It cost a bit of money, about $25, but what I really like is all the worksheets they want you to do are recopied into the back of the book in case you need to make copies.

I go in for my next appointment next week. I'm hoping to have gone through the first chapter by then, but I don't want to rush through the book. I want to take this slow enough to really understand what I need to fix so I can be a much happier, healthier wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend.

The Benefits of Music

A friend of mine posted a link to this article and I wanted to share it with all of you. I'm a huge advocate of the powers of music, and have seen it work miracles in many areas of my own life. Here's an article on how it can benefit the lives of everyone out there.

More than Melody

A Step in the Right Direction

Yesterday I took what felt like a big step in getting some help for my mental/emotional self. While the anti-depressants have worked an awful lot in the major depression problem, I'm still suffering from the serious issue of having a savior complex.

I want to fix everyone. I want to save everyone. And I can't. Which is just frustrating! Especially when they are coming to me with the hope I can "make it all better." In reality they know I can't. To some extent even I know I can't, but it doesn't stop me from trying.

Becoming the wife of an LDS bishop is not an easy role to take on. Some church members believe my husband tells me everything, and either avoid me because of what they think I think, or start talking to me as if I know precisely what's going on. Other people think I tell my husband everything they tell me, so either don't tell me anything or let on more than I wanted to know. Either way I constantly feel caught in the middle, or shoved aside.

I've had another run of everyone telling me their hardships, which I fully encourage as I know what it can mean to have just one empathetic person to talk to. But unlike my husband, who was given a very special blessing of being able to shake things off, I cannot do the same. When someone unloads their frustrations and hardships on my shoulders, they unwittingly leave a bunch of it behind. It sticks to me like molasses, and the more I try to scrape it off, the messier I get.

My husband can tell when I've been around too many negative situations. Just the other day he said, "When your friends are depressed, you get depressed." Very true. Yet, even knowing this is the effect being the shoulder to cry on has on me, I wouldn't change it for the world. I love being that person others feel safe to share their troubles. It gives me a sense of being needed, as though I'm helping in some small way.

But the truth is I need someone to help me deal with all of this. I'm not a counselor. I haven't gone to school to learn how to help others. Over the last two months so much has happened both within our own home and outside of it that I have felt more overwhelmed than ever before! I've felt way in over my head, and have been drowning far too long.

After receiving a priesthood blessing, and a few long chats with my mother, I finally made the call to LDS Social Services yesterday to see about getting in to talk with a counselor. They could have gotten me in tonight, but Tuesdays are always hectic for our family. So I've been put on a waiting list. It might take a few weeks until they're able to fit me in, but that's okay. Since I made the call I've been feeling very at peace, as though I've taken the right step in the right direction.

Funny this is, the sweetest remark given to me was from the guy at the insurance company I spoke with to see if I needed a referral first. As we were ending our conversation he said, "I really hope you'll be okay." Know what? Me too :)

The Evils of Scales

I had a fight with my scale on Sunday. It was trying to claim I had gained two pounds over the week before. I begged to differ. This rudeness was further compounded by learning my husband had lost a pound. Hmph.

Weight loss is such a roller-coaster ride. It may put you on cloud nine when you lose more than just a pound, or throw you body and soul into the depths of despair when you gain just one ounce. I suppose this is why I've never paid too much attention to my weight before. Even for a "larger" woman I've always been pretty healthy. Both my cholesterol and blood pressure are low, and if allowed to go at my own pace I can walk for miles. My heart is quite healthy. It's just my weight I have so many issues with.

The knowledge that muscle weighs more than fat has been my long time friend. Typically in the Spring when I begin a new exercise routine I tend to gain much weight in the beginning due to the impressive inclination of my body to create massive muscles. I have been accused more than once of having awesome Popeye calves. The joking truth, "I was built for work" has passed over my lips more than once.

This inclination toward building muscle has frequently kept me from charting my weight on a scale. In fact, our little household hasn't had a scale in it for many years. The need to change this arrangement came when hubby and I agreed to do a Biggest Loser challenge. Knowing we both have a love for food, we've not done too much changing there. For the most part there has simply been an increase in the amount of vegetables in our diets, as well as some portion control. No, most of our efforts have been put into exercise.

We've been rather bad at it lately. While having our daughter old enough to watch her siblings helps an awful lot, there is still the problem of finding time! Between helping three kids with homework, getting dinner made, getting hubby off to do bishop duties, having daughter in Young Women's, and Mr. B in karate, there are some weeks we're lucky to get out more than once for a jaunty walk around the neighborhood. Of course being here at home I'm able to find some time to do little things in the way of exercise, but folding horrendous amounts of laundry can only get your heart rate up so high.

So today I'm still mad at my scale. I won't talk to it until next week, and I'll see if it's ready to repent of it's evil ways and make me feel a smidge better about myself by claiming I lost those two horrific pounds. It better...

I'm a Mall Walker (Pun Intended)

As part of my goal to become healthier this year I've begun walking most nights. Yes, it's true I'm not the most consistent in getting my half-hour of sweat-inducing exercise, but with my extraordinary partner - the hubby - I've been walking more these last two weeks than I have in quite a while.



Walking with my husband is not for the weak-hearted, nor the slow going. His "power" walk has me trotting to keep up. His normal pace has my calf muscles crying in pain. I remember the days I used to keep up with him without hoping someone would run up behind me with a wheelchair because I could feel my legs turning to jelly even as we rounded a corner. One of these days I'll be able to keep up again.

Seeing as how it's winter in Utah, there are nights when the air is crisp but not freezing and taking a good half-hour walk feels exhilarating rather than exhausting. I love exercising in cooler weather, if for no other reason than I don't smell as bad after it's all done. However, this being winter in Utah there are nights when the air is bone chilling, or snow is falling in droves, keeping us from wanting to lose a nose, finger or toe to frostbite. These nights, we take to the local mall.

I don't know if they're common where you are, but here in the Salt Lake Valley mall walkers are a regular sight. They range in ages, but mostly consist of the "older" set, and are most often seen in the morning hours before the opening of stores brings an onslaught of shoppers. Hubby and I, however, brave the evening hours to do our walking.

To keep things exciting we switch up which mall entrance we park near. I know, you can hardly stand how utterly awesome we are at this moment, right? Tonight we went really wild...and walked in the opposite direction. Funny thing is - it threw us off! We almost took a few wrong turns in Macy's.

Tonight I was not in fine form. As we finished our first lap around the mall I told my hubby to go on ahead of me, that I needed to slow down. I watched him race off and could literally feel my legs sigh in relief as I let up a bit on the pace. Hubby went screeching off through the food court, but I skipped it, as I knew it could take about as much time for me to finish the mall by cutting a few corners as it would him going the full course. And it did.

Still, I'm grateful for a husband who pushes me to go just a bit faster in walking, whether it be in the mall or outside. He's the reason I'm still going strong on exercising. And for those who didn't get the "pun intended" in the title? Our last name is Walker :)

Day 1 of Femininity

So technically I cheated...and started my week of femininity yesterday :) Knowing today would be a crazy day - and hating to take pictures of myself SO MUCH I wanted to get it done yesterday - I got all gussied up early.

One of the reasons I love this skirt is it's SO flowy! I have endless amounts of freedom in it without feeling like I'm wearing a corset (a condition that makes a fairly obvious difference...I'm just saying). The fun blues and crinkly nature also make it a favorite.

Few things make me feel more feminine than having my hair down. Lately I've been wanting to chop it off, but my goodness, then I see it like this and think, "PRETTY!" In any case, some things I noticed yesterday: do you know...I just felt beautiful. My hubby thinks I'm beautiful every day, but it's so rare for me to feel the same way. The years have not always been kind when it comes to my looks (CAROL - it's just how I feel! I know you think I'm beautiful too! *kisses*). But when I put on something like this I can't help feel as though I'm just a bit...more.

Because of this I felt energized to get things done. And that's a result I was not expecting. Maybe it has something to do with my mental and emotional health. Maybe feeling beautiful helped me to want to make my surroundings a little more beautiful. It's amazing how when you feel good about yourself, it seeps into every aspect of your life...even when it comes down to getting a load or two of the never-ending laundry done ♥

Walking a Mile in Someone Else's Shoes

There is nothing in this world to help a person become more sympathetic to the plight of others than going through a similar hardship.

My husband has, for the most part, enjoyed a very healthy life. Not until the last five or so years has his body begun to show some very distinct signs of age. Poor guy. Suddenly a man who rarely took pain reliever when he was in pain has to take all sorts of meds to regulate things he's never had to worry about before.

The funny (and not ha-ha funny but interesting funny) is a lot of what he's been experiencing lately I've been going through for years. Like heart burn. I remember when he described the first time he had heart burn. There was almost panic in his eyes. But I'd been there...since I was a teen I'd been there. So I walked him through the first episode, we found out his was worse (acid reflux), and was so happy when he finally found something that would help take the daily pain away.

Then came the migraines. My husband had never experienced a migraine (I'm not sure if he'd really had a headache), and suddenly he's overcome with pain every single day! Fortunately, once again, he and the doctor were able to find something to help with the daily part. Unfortunately he still gets the occasional migraine, but occasional is definitely not daily, and for that we're so grateful.

The latest in a short line of odd things to go wrong with your body has been his trapezium (sp?) muscle. About two weeks ago he began hurting along the back, right side of his neck. Over time the pain has become increasingly worse and has spread into his back and shoulder, keeps him up at night, and is sometimes so painful he can barely lift his head. He headed into the doctor yesterday, who gave him a stronger pain reliever and a muscle relaxant. He slept very well last night, and is actually outside right now mowing the lawn because he feels better. Not great, but this is a man who'll work regardless of a 102 degree temp saying, "It's nothing."

I tell you all these things about my husband (and don't tell him I told you all this...he might not be as willing to share the intricacies of his life as much as I am) because I've watched him over the last few years gain greater empathy, in particular here in our little family. You see, shortly before he started getting migraines our oldest had them as well. Not daily, but bad enough they would make her throw up. Suddenly my husband found himself with greater patience when she began to complain. And now that our younger son has daily migraines, my husband is even more willing to help find something to make the pain go away.

With his acid reflux and heart burn, well it probably seems silly, but he has an idea of what I've lived with most of my life. Now when I say I have heart burn, he's much more understanding of the pain I'm experiencing.

This last little "glitch" in the body has sure thrown him for a loop, but it's something I've had happen at least once or twice a year for the last several years. Again, he now understands a little more why I've been laid down flat for a day or two when I have it.

So compassion is certainly my husband's lesson. But I've certainly gained one as well. If this awesome man of mine had not been the sort of wonderful man he is, I may have spent each episode crowing, "I told you so!" Fortunately for us both he's never been the sort of person to lack compassion for the trials of another, even if he couldn't personally understand what they were enduring.

For me the lesson has been a realization that instead of being the person who stands back and feels justified that someone else really understands what I'm experiencing, I have instead said, "Okay. I know what you're going through. So let me use my past experience in helping you out."

We will all eventually walk a mile, or even just a few feet, in the shoes of another. In that time we have a chance to learn compassion, and will hopefully gain a friend in the process.

Happy Mama is Back, Baby!

First and foremost, I want to thank everyone who has reached out with a hand of prayer, love, and support. You have no idea what this has meant to me, especially when I wasn’t feeling myself.

I am happy to report things are much better these days. I went into the doctor and told him some of my biggest problems with the depression: intense fatigue, constantly crying, never feeling really happy. We also talked about how long it’s been going on and what might be some of the causes.

He recommended three things. The first was some medicine. He was a pharmacist before he became a doctor, so I trust him to know his medications. He opted to put me on Celexa as it would help with the fatigue as well as uplift and even out my moods.

Oh baby did it ever! I’m happier than I’ve been in about a year! Though the doctor said it might take a full two weeks before I see much of an improvement my whole family noticed a difference the very next day. I was laughing again, and it wasn’t forced. I was smiling again and it reached my eyes. Even my mom, who talked with me over the phone, said she could hear it in my voice.

I wasn’t faking happy any more!!!

There’s been one drawback to the meds. One I hope will eventually go away. Nausea, coupled with an intense gag reflex, has attacked with a vengeance. At first it was just for a few hours after taking my pill. Yesterday it was all day long. Suddenly I’m experiencing flash backs to pregnancy days. I can understand why a friend told me she lost a good bit of weight while on it…she may have been sick to her tummy for a few years, lol.

I’m still struggling a little with fatigue, but it’s not the so-tired-I-can’t-move type. I’ve only needed one nap in the last five days, and that was after a bad night with my skin. I go back into the doctor in another two weeks to see how things are going.

The second thing he recommended is counseling, in the hopes of finding some good coping techniques when I start to get too stressed or whatever. I definitely want to try, though I feel quite a bit nervous about finding the right someone to talk with. This’ll have to wait for a month or so until the kids are back on track at school. For the next few weeks I want to reintroduce my kids to Happy Mom.

The third thing he recommended was taking time out for myself, even if it’s just for a half-hour a day. I laughed a little as he named off a few things I could do: read a book, get out and take a walk, find a hobby to work on. I’ve constantly got a book in my hands, I tend to do my walking in the morning outside on good days and inside on bad days, and I’m overflowing with hobbies. I even get time all to myself come nighttime when everyone else has gone to bed.

The person I want to thank the most is my husband. It’s never easy being the one who endures the hard stuff, but just as bad is the person who stands helplessly to the side, wishing to make everything better and unable to do so. My husband, who already works harder than almost anyone I know, did everything he could to help me out. He washed dishes, helped the kids with homework, cooked dinner, helped clean the house, allowed me to sleep when it was needed, and simply became SuperDad during the last several weeks. I am so glad I was able to pull out of this so he could focus more on work (which is crazy busy this next week) without worrying about what was happening at home.

If ever there was a woman who was truly blessed by family and friends, it’s me. Happy Mom.

Snackish

Do you ever feel a bit snackish? I sure do, and it's usually at the most inappropriate times. For instance, I tend to want a snack about an hour before lunch. Then there's the hour before dinner. The kids haven't figured out yet why I insist on being alone in the kitchen! That's right, even as I'm telling them they have to wait to eat until the food is ready, I'm busy sampling it all "just to make sure it's aaaallllll gooooood."

One is rarely in the mood for a snack that's healthy, at least in my house. Crackers are a favorite among the children. Peanut M&M's are preferred by my husband and I (and knowing they're low on the Diabetic Index just means you can have double, right?).

I was thinking about being snackish because it's after ten at night and my tummy's sending me a message that goes something like,

"Hey Brain, I've been empty for a few hours now and could sure use something to get rid of this gnawing sensation. Got anything on hand?"

As this message heads on up towards my brain, my sweet tooth immediately picks up on the vibes and says,

"Ooooh, yeah. Make it something chocolate. There's nothing like a bite of chocolate late at night. That'll make both me and your tummy feel real good."

Well, my poor brain can't take more than one message at a time. It tends to feel overcome with peer pressure. Of course my digestive system, which tends to work on the slow side anyway, can't get it's message up to the brain in time to say,

"Chocolate at this time of night? You've got to be CRAZY! You'll have acid reflux, not to mention the serious amount of work you'll put me through trying to digest this all night long. Sure you'll be sleeping, but it won't be a good sleep. Think about it!"

Needless to say by the time this message has reached my already overtaxed noggin,' a nice square of Hershey's Symphony has already begun melting in my mouth. This glorious sensory overload manages to quell any other messages my body might try to send after it's too late.

So my body tries to get back at me the whole rest of the night long. I know - so rude! I don't like feeling snackish, but there's not a whole lot I can do about it...except maybe head off to bed now.

(In case you were wondering, and I know you were, I didn't eat any chocolate tonight. And for a snack earlier today I had a small handful of Sugar Snap Peas. What a good girl!)

Creating Your Own Strength Training Program

I rarely tune in to morning talk/news shows. It has most to do with the fact that the kids rule the television (when I allow it on) during that time and it's basically glued to PBS kids shows. I don't mind at all, as I spend most of my time either typing away on the computer or doing laundry!

This morning I happened to watch the first part of Studio 5, and caught a segment by their Health and Fitness expert who had worked to put together a program to help with basic strength training. As one of my big goals this year is taking control of my health, even if I'm able to improve it just a smidge, I decided to check it out online.

The moves really are basic, and they're well described. She not only gives directions as to how many reps to do, and how long to rest between reps, she also gives pictures. One shows a beginning position, the other shows how your ending position should look.

Seven areas are included in the workout (those areas being legs, back, biceps, triceps, chest, shoulders and abs), and each area is given three different techniques.

The beauty about this system, besides being very easy to do, is you can decide what to work on and which technique you'd like to try. You don't have to stick to the same workout every time. You don't even have to work the same area every time. If you want to work on all seven in one day, go ahead. Make your own workout plan for the week, then switch things up the next by choosing different techniques. If you have a problem area and would like to work on just one, like your back or triceps, not a problem.

Many of the techniques require weights and an exercise ball. I personally don't have a ball (I shudder at the thought of what a good time my kids would have with it), but have some light weights I bought cheap at Wal-mart. 5 and 10 pound weights were used on the show, but until you're able to figure out how much weight your muscles can handle, I'd strongly recommend sticking with 2 or 3 pound weights. Don't forget to listen to your body's warning signals: unusual pain, dizziness or lightheadedness, etc. Be sure to talk to your doctor if you have any questions.

If you'd like to check it out go to Creating a Custom Workout. At the bottom of the screen you'll see the phrase "Click HERE to download...". That will take you to the printed workout.

What to Post About? What to Post?

It's been a few days, but that certainly doesn't mean I haven't been contemplating things to post about. Should I post about having my toddler catch my cold and sitting up with her until after 11 at night? Or should I post about the kids taking up all my computer time now that they're running out of things to do while they're off track? Or perhaps I should post about my poor husband being stranded at the gas station for two hours as he waited in the freezing cold for his darn family to get off the Internet so we could come tow him home when his truck stalled???

Nah, you wouldn't want to hear about all that. So instead I'll post about my Monday doctor's appt. My husband and mother were in cahoots to get me to go to the doctor. I haven't had a physical done in many years. Mostly this has been due to the fact that I knew what he'd say: you need to lose weight (which I do), you've gained 80 pound since you were last here, and your cholesterol is too high so here are a few hundred pills to take in the hope it'll lower in three months time. Then I'd try to convince him it's really not my fault that things got so bad, and he'd give me the look that says, "yeah, right."

I've been rather unwell the last few months, with all sorts of little things. The last straw for my hubby was when I struggled with breathing as the air worsened, and got a cold at the same time. He kept telling me to call and get an appointment for a physical. I'd say, "sure honey," and not do it. So unbeknown to me he...are you ready for this...called my mother!!! Mommy dearest called me and we talked for a while - nothing unusual in that - and we eventually got around to talking about needing to get in to the doctor.

She's a sneaky one, that woman.

By that time the idea had been working on me for a few weeks, and she convinced me I could set the appointment for a few months in advance if I wasn't ready yet. Several days later I finally did it, then found out if I hadn't by the end of the week, she was ready to come pick me up one day and "take me for a ride." Like a dog blissfully ignorant of heading to the vet.

In any case I got into the doc a lot earlier than any of us thought, a mere week away. I did NOT sleep well the night before. Of course the actual appointment went well. In fact, it turns out I'd lost four pounds since the last time I'd been there. Okay it's not much, but at least I hadn't gained anything! Doc. listened to me, which I appreciate, and gave me some great suggestions. He told me I have a bit of tendinitis in my right ankle, and that was the biggest news I received that day :) Lovin' it!

When my husband came home later that day I crashed. Holy cow did I crash. He sent me off to bed for a nap and 2 1/2 hours later I forced myself to wake up. This sweet man took care of the kids, made dinner and washed the dishes so I could catch up on some z's. Awesome, I know.

Still, I was dreading the blood test results. I can't begin to tell you how much I don't want to go on cholesterol medications. Beyond the occasional antibiotic for sinus stuff I rarely take prescription meds (OTC is an entirely different matter). So imagine my utter and complete surprise when it turned out my cholesterol is fine. Fine! My triglycerides are an entirely different matter, and I'm doing some research on how to fix that. But I'm so happy. I'm so thrilled. And after worrying myself out of sleep I feel so very hopeful that things are going to be okay. I'm even finding time to exercise.

So that's what I decided to post about today. Hope you all enjoyed the ride.

An Odd Anniversary

New Years Day of 200_ I awoke to the sound of laughter in the kitchen. What didn't have me jumping right up was a sound I didn't hear - that of a newborn baby crying. This particular child was only three weeks old and it hadn't been an easy time (anyone who's given birth for the third time in three years and did the last one around Christmastime might possibly understand where I'm coming from). I'd actually ended up back in the hospital shortly after the birth because a portion of my right lung had collapsed due to how big the baby was, and a tendency of tiny feet to press upon the aforementioned portion of my body.

Like I said, not the easiest time.

Realizing I might have the chance to catch a few extra minutes of precious sleep I turned onto my side, closed my eyes, and tried to recapture any sort of pleasant dreams that had escaped me. The only problem was my left eye didn't close. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get it to close. I began to notice other oddities: the skin on the left side of my face felt odd - like the feeling one gets as the Novocaine wears off after a dental appointment, my tongue also felt a bit numb, and the whole side felt sluggish.

I immediately got up and dressed, then went to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth and took a good look at my face. There was no doubt about it, something was wrong. Even as I watched for those few minutes, the symptoms grew worse. I walked into the kitchen, tried to act nonchalant, and told my husband I think we needed to head to the local Insta-Care.

He went straight into action, and before long my mother was watching the kids while we headed off. I distinctly recall trying to remember if I'd suffered a stroke during the night. I didn't think so (I laugh at myself now, but it was quite traumatic at the time!), but how was I to know.

Just a note - I'm much more familiar with the actual signs of a stroke now.

The doctor reassured me first thing that I hadn't suffered a stroke, then told me I had something called Bell's Palsy. I had never heard of it before in my life, and to be honest the doctor wasn't able to tell me a whole lot. Because it's not a life threatening disease there hasn't been a whole lot of research put into it.

Basically "they" (don't ask me to define who they are, please) believe BP is related to the Herpes Virus (which produces things like cold sores and Shingles), though no one can tell just what will trigger the condition. There is no rhyme nor reason to it - it attacks all ages, all races, both genders. It can appear on either side of the face, or even on both in extreme cases. People have been known to experience partial paralysis which disappears within a few days, will have complete paralysis which heals completely over time, while few will have permanent lasting effects. While most who experience this only get it once, there are others who have had it more times.

For myself, I had the complete paralysis. The doctor gave me a choice at the office. Odds were much of the paralysis might leave if I took a heavy dose of steroids and a viral medication, but I would have to stop nursing during that time. I simply wasn't willing to do so. I'd had the experience of not nursing with my first child due to extreme problems and didn't want to risk not being able to continue to do so even after the meds were out of my system.

For the first three months I endured an awful lot. I had to put a medicine on my eye at night at tape it shut, the effects of which I still struggle with as the eyelid retrained itself not to close without pulling up my cheek. Another side effect was the inability of my eardrum to work correctly, so everything came across as loud. I took to wearing an earplug every time I went outside, and a lot of the time when I held the baby. I still occasionally have problems with loud sounds. My eye began to water a lot, especially every time I ate. It's a bit ridiculous to have to hold a tissue in my hand so I can wipe away the tears so they wouldn't drip into my spaghetti. And yes, I still have a problem with the occasional watering eye, in particular when it's cold and windy outside.

There was a lot of pain as well, specifically on an area behind and below the ear, sort of right underneath the jaw. That side of my face became extremely sensitive, at times so bad I couldn't sleep on it at night. My sweet baby (whom we lovingly and laughingly referred to as our "Bobble-head Baby") would frequently bang his head on my face.

The psychological aftereffects were just as bad. I found myself developing defensive gestures, and recognized it even as I was doing it. For example, when I laughed or smiled my hand would automatically rise to cover up that side of my mouth. My hair parts naturally on the right side, and I began to wear my hair down more often so it would cover the left side of my face. I took to placing my finger on the corner of my mouth and pulling slightly so I could be understood better (one of the greatest ironies of Bell's Palsy - because there is no control of lip muscles you can't really say the letters "B", "P", "F", and "M").

I hated being introduced to new people, not knowing if I wanted them to ask about it, or just ignore it altogether. It put people off, and I can't say I blame them. I remember one morning just before we were heading off to church, I found some pictures in a bag I hadn't had a chance to look at yet. I'd tried to smile, and the effect was horrid. I began crying. It couldn't be helped. My first instinct was to rip the picture up, but I think it's still lurking around the house somewhere. I never wanted to have another picture taken of me again. I felt beyond ugly. Smiling no longer happened naturally, which was particularly heartbreaking as I love to smile.

The first ray of hope occurred almost exactly three months to the day. I was in the bathroom looking in the mirror, and tried to smile. And for the first time in three months I made a movement on purpose: there was a tiny move at the corner of my mouth! I'd experienced a lot of involuntary muscle spasms, but this was the first thing that happened because I wanted it to happen!

Healing was slow going, and has never been complete. You can mostly tell when I take a picture, especially when I'm not aware it's being taken and smiling wide. I still hate having pictures taken, and try to be the one behind the camera. But I have hope.

That first day my husband gave me a priesthood blessing, where I was promised a full recovery. I've received enough blessings and promises over the years to know it doesn't always happen in the ways and times we expect, but I have faith that one day I'll be able to smile without feeling self-conscious about it. I was given an extra special booster the same day I saw the picture of myself - mere minutes after I'd stopped crying my oldest came into the kitchen and told me I was beautiful. You have no idea how much that was needed.

Almost two years later I got BP again, but this time I knew the warning signs, wasn't nursing or pregnant, and was able to take the meds. There was no paralysis that time.

In the hopes I can help someone else who might possibly experience this same thing, here are some of the symptoms you might experience before the paralysis hits in the hopes you can get into the doctor:

I'd begun to get a cold in my neck. In particular there was a pain in the area towards the front, sort of next to the throat. It felt like a stiff neck I couldn't get rid of, not even with pain relievers. Food and liquids tasted weird on that side of my tongue at least a day beforehand. I was excessively tired (but blamed it on the baby. Others I've talked to have said they were tired as well). Remember to keep an eye on the other symptoms I mentioned above: drooling, sensitive ear, numbness in the face, sluggishness of the facial muscles, and a watery eye.

Eliminating My Allergies Part III: The NAET Treatments

I believe it's important to understand a bit about how your body reacts to allergens in order to understand what makes these treatments work.

Your entire body is filled with energy pathways, or meridians. These pathways aid in everything from thought processes to digestion. When an allergen is introduced a warning signal is sent throughout your body and the meridians put up a block. The only problem is, the energy in your body is still trying to flow. When it can't get through it's proper channels a buildup occurs. This buildup has to get out somehow, and that's when you get an allergic reaction.

These reactions can vary: fatigue, muscle aches, high blood pressure, skin rashes, and more. What needs to happen now is a way to help your body stop thinking of something that should be harmless, like eating a tomato, as a danger. Sort of like rebooting your system.

The actual NAET treatment is simple and quick. A small glass vial (bottle) of water infused with the electromagnetic force of the allergen is placed in the right hand. Using a process of acupressure, the doctor opens up the energy pathways, helping to rewrite your body's reaction to what you're being treated for. The actual process takes less than five minutes, but the session doesn't end there.

Once the acupressure is done you're not supposed to cross your arms or your legs. With my doc he then leads us to another room where we can lay down for the next twenty minutes. During this time we are to hold on to the vial, keeping skin contact to it. After the twenty minutes are up the doc will call you back in and check your muscle response.

Strangely enough it's the next 24-25 hours that are the hardest, depending on what you're being treated for. During that time you need to stay away from any contact with the allergen. It takes twenty-four hours after the session for your body to clear all of the meridians of the allergen (there are 12 meridians in all, and each take two hours to clear).

The next time you head into the doctor he/she will retest your muscles to see if your body was able to successfully pass the allergen through your system. More often than not it'll pass the first time around. There are times, however, when the allergy is severe and it may take more than one session to be a success.

The NAET treatments are not cheap. I've never claimed they were. What you have to ask yourself is if it's worth putting your money into something that might cure the ailment as opposed to putting a band-aid on it. Of course this may not be for everyone, but if these posts have really captured your attention, perhaps it's time to look deeper into NAET.

I was tired of the cortizone. I was tired of not being able to hold my children. I couldn't exercise because of the constant flare-ups. I was miserable. Today I am almost rash free, and I haven't had to take pills or put on creams to do it. I consider this a miracle.

Eliminating My Allergies Part II: Muscle Response Testing

During my initial consultation with Dr. A the only thing I had planned on being treated for was my skin. It was the first thing I brought up, but it wasn’t where we ended. Before I knew it we had discussed my recent fatigue, brain fog, and inability to concentrate on any one thing for too long.

I had no idea so many of these things could be due to allergies.

Next he tested me for 120 different allergens. He didn’t do a blood test. Neither did he stick a patch on my back to see what flared up. Instead he did something called Muscle Response Testing.

Have you ever had a moment when you’ve come in contact with something and all the muscles in your arm or hand go really weak? I can’t tell you how many times that’s happened to me, and had no idea it might be my bodies reaction to some type of allergen. This is the method preferred by those doing NAET.

Not all allergies cause your system to put out antibodies into the blood or create rashes on your skin. They do, however, cause some sort of muscle weakness. Through this testing we discovered I was allergic for almost half the list. I was stunned, to say the least.

As we went through the list after the testing was done, Dr. A starred certain items he felt were especially likely to affect my skin, my recent tiredness and fuzzy thinking. These specific issues were quite tantalizing as it would be a few weeks before we could start on them.

There is a list of ‘basics’ that need to be addressed before moving on to other allergens. These basics are the most common allergens. They include things like eggs, vitamin C, corn, sugars, wheat, and others. Over many years of treating people the docs found these specific allergens needed to be treated first, as they were the most likely culprits in many other allergies.

For example, say you were allergic to vitamin C. Your first instinct might be to treat for oranges. The only problem is after you’ve treated for oranges you still find yourself allergic to strawberries, green vegetables, and a lot of other foods rich in vitamin C. Perhaps you can see that if you’d treated for the vitamin in the first place, you might not have had to treat for everything it’s in.

Clear as muddy water?

In any case we needed to start with the basics. How quickly we could run through all these depended largely on how many sessions I could afford, and the strength of my body. Dr. A recommended two or three times a week for me. Depending on our funds, I sometimes went in just once a week, sometimes up to three. It took a little over two months to get through the basics, and at last we were able to play with other of my allergies.

I think we should pause here for today. In my next post I’ll try to go into more of what the actual treatments are like.