My husband is sick. In our own little family this is enough to set everyone into a tizzy. He rarely gets sick, and definitely not with fever chills and body aches. He even opted to stay home from church today - also a rare occurrence.
In and of itself this may not seem like a big deal, but my husband is not just your ordinary church-goer (if there is such a thing as an ordinary church-goer). You see, he is a bishop over a ward in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as the Mormon Church). He is the figurative father of a local congregation, or ward. He is their spiritual leader. And today he was greatly missed.
As news of his nasty sickness spread throughout the meeting person after person came up to ask me about him. Was he okay? How was he feeling? Was there anything they could do? Wish after wish for a speedy recovery was pressed upon me to pass along to him. Much love was expressed, and promises of prayers being offered in his behalf. Even as my heart grew warm with the utter love and concern shown for him, I knew there was no way even I - a self-proclaimed artist with words - would be able to let him know just how much he was missed, and how much the people he has served over the last four years loved him.
One person. Just one person has had an amazing effect on a group of people. I began to think throughout the day about how precious a single individual can be to another, especially as that was what our lesson in young women's was on today. What are we doing to personally enrich the lives of those around us, to make that relationship between ourselves and those with whom we come in contact a little more meaningful.
My husband is extremely service oriented. If someone is in need he is the first one to jump up and say, "I will help." At times I worry he doesn't know how to say no, but over the years I have recognized in him a need to never look back and say, "I should have..." I honestly believe that is why he's so sick today - his body simply couldn't keep up with his willing heart.
When we serve those around us there becomes a softening in the relationship, for we are putting our needs away for a time to focus instead of another soul in need. It is one of the ultimate ways for us to truly come to know Christ and how He lived His life, for there is no better example of loving service than that of our Savior.
My husband has learned to be a fantastic listener. He knows when to offer advice and when someone simply needs to talk. He has learned to approach people he doesn't know and welcome them with open arms. He has been a shoulder to cry on, an arm upon which others lean, and a trusted voice of reason. His hands have joined others in giving blessings to those who are sick or otherwise afflicted, those who mourn, and those who simply need words of guidance and comfort from their Heavenly Father. He is loved by those he has served in ways he will never comprehend.
Of course, were a person to say any of this to his face, he would deny it all, unable to see what good he has done. As we all tend to do with ourselves, he constantly berates himself for never doing enough, for never being enough, and for looking more on negatives than positives. And at times this idea makes him try to be every thing to every body, which means he burns out - like today. For myself, though I hate to see him sick, I am grateful it forces him to stop and focus on himself and his need to rest. This same sentiment was echoed many times over today by different members of his congregation.
I know the difference this wonderful man has made in the lives of others, even if he doesn't always see it himself. I even know there are those out there who love me more than words can say. I also know it is because of the love we try to give in various ways that we receive this love back. We are not perfect, not by any means, but we keep trying.
I ask for you to take some time out of incredibly busy schedules, find just one person, and begin to express your love for them in little ways. Pray for them. Pray for ways of expressing love to be shown to you. Write a friend a little note saying what you admire about him/her. Do the dishes for your mom. Take the trash out for your dad. Make your husband's favorite dinner. Offer to take your wife out so she doesn't have to cook. Spend some quality time reading a book with your child. The possibilities are endless.
I love my husband. I am grateful he is taking time out to sleep today, to rest and recover. I also hope he'll get better fast, for I know what a crazy few weeks he has with work and church. I am incredibly proud of the man he is, for his willingness to serve both our family and our ward family. He constantly reminds me of what I need to do to be a better person, even if I do it whining a lot of the way. I only hope one day he will be able to know how much the love he has given is returned.
Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
'Cause We're Awesome. That's Why!
These days it's nothing to sniff at, managing to make it to number fourteen on the marriage anniversary list. What's even more incredible is the fact we're still going strong! So I've got two lists for you today. First, I'd like to give you the top five serious reasons our marriage works.
#5 - We communicate!!! If fincances are tight, we talk about it. If there's a problem at work or home, we talk about it. If we're feeling frustrated about something or someone, we talk about it! Communication invites intimacy, allowing each person to feel important in the other person's life.
#4 - We're similar, and opposites - and we embrace both in each other. My hubby and I are very similar in many respects: our love of service, we'd both rather be home than anywhere else, we enjoy reading and sharing what we've read, we're both peacemakers, etc. But we're also opposites in many respects: I'm a thinker, he's a doer; he's a morning person, I'm a night owl; he enjoys a nice tomato sandwich, I'd rather not (but thank you very much); he'll eat just about anything, I'm one of the pickiest creatures on the face of this earth; I help him chill out, he helps me be motivated. It works for us.
#3 - We're both very selfless, and even a little bit selfish. We're the sort who will give up everything at the moment to help the other (and he's done more than his share of this in recent months). We keep watch over one another, and notice when the other needs a pick me up. But we also know when to say, I need some help. As I learned from my therapist this last summer, if our own needs aren't met, we cannot help fill the needs of those around us. So if we need a little time to ourselves to read alone, or take a walk, or go to the library, we'll make it happen.
#2 - We make family a priority. I'm not even talking about our immediate family, but extended family as well. We have both been blessed with AMAZING brothers and sisters and in-laws. Our nieces and nephews are to die for, and our parents would move heaven and earth to help us out. We do not take that for granted, and lend our love and support whenever possible.
#1 - We make God a part of our marriage. We make Him a vital and essential part of our marriage. There is no doubt in my mind, without Him, we would not be where we are today.
Now, for the top five silly yet equally important reasons we've made it this far.
#5 - We share a love of Coke products. What?! GASP! For shame, Laurie. I know, I know. But there's nothing like seeing the face of my husband when he sees a bottle of Coke in the fridge that I got for him as a surprise. Or my delight when he's stopped off at 7-11 to get us a couple of Big Gulps before he comes home. Good times, people, good times.
#4 - We also share a love for teasing the children. It comes in really handy when one is trying to convince the children of something improbable (like we're having snake for dinner) and needs the other to act as though it's true. The hubbs is WAY better at the teasing, I'm merely the pupil. But I'm getting better at it.
#3 - Neither of us is way into sports. Nope. When hubby's brothers and nephews (and some sisters-in-law and nieces) get together to play some basketball, you won't see my hubby among them. And I love it. While others talk about this sports team, or who's doing what and being traded where, neither of us has any idea of what's being talked about. And neither of us, even just a little, root for the U more than the Y. Instead we sit back and enjoy watching the rivalry.
#2 - When we're old and gray we plan to share a room in a rest home. We'll both have Alzheimers and plan to flirt with the cutie in the bed next to us. A lot.
#1 - 'Cause we're awesome. That's why.
*** Author's Addition ***
My good friend Carol reminded me of something, and it's just too good not to put in. When all the kids are out of the house and we won't have to worry about any children saying, "Why won't you let us get one!?!?!", hubby and I are totally getting motorcycles and traveling the U.S. of A.!!!!! OH YEAH BABY
#5 - We communicate!!! If fincances are tight, we talk about it. If there's a problem at work or home, we talk about it. If we're feeling frustrated about something or someone, we talk about it! Communication invites intimacy, allowing each person to feel important in the other person's life.
#4 - We're similar, and opposites - and we embrace both in each other. My hubby and I are very similar in many respects: our love of service, we'd both rather be home than anywhere else, we enjoy reading and sharing what we've read, we're both peacemakers, etc. But we're also opposites in many respects: I'm a thinker, he's a doer; he's a morning person, I'm a night owl; he enjoys a nice tomato sandwich, I'd rather not (but thank you very much); he'll eat just about anything, I'm one of the pickiest creatures on the face of this earth; I help him chill out, he helps me be motivated. It works for us.
#3 - We're both very selfless, and even a little bit selfish. We're the sort who will give up everything at the moment to help the other (and he's done more than his share of this in recent months). We keep watch over one another, and notice when the other needs a pick me up. But we also know when to say, I need some help. As I learned from my therapist this last summer, if our own needs aren't met, we cannot help fill the needs of those around us. So if we need a little time to ourselves to read alone, or take a walk, or go to the library, we'll make it happen.
#2 - We make family a priority. I'm not even talking about our immediate family, but extended family as well. We have both been blessed with AMAZING brothers and sisters and in-laws. Our nieces and nephews are to die for, and our parents would move heaven and earth to help us out. We do not take that for granted, and lend our love and support whenever possible.
#1 - We make God a part of our marriage. We make Him a vital and essential part of our marriage. There is no doubt in my mind, without Him, we would not be where we are today.
Now, for the top five silly yet equally important reasons we've made it this far.
#5 - We share a love of Coke products. What?! GASP! For shame, Laurie. I know, I know. But there's nothing like seeing the face of my husband when he sees a bottle of Coke in the fridge that I got for him as a surprise. Or my delight when he's stopped off at 7-11 to get us a couple of Big Gulps before he comes home. Good times, people, good times.
#4 - We also share a love for teasing the children. It comes in really handy when one is trying to convince the children of something improbable (like we're having snake for dinner) and needs the other to act as though it's true. The hubbs is WAY better at the teasing, I'm merely the pupil. But I'm getting better at it.
#3 - Neither of us is way into sports. Nope. When hubby's brothers and nephews (and some sisters-in-law and nieces) get together to play some basketball, you won't see my hubby among them. And I love it. While others talk about this sports team, or who's doing what and being traded where, neither of us has any idea of what's being talked about. And neither of us, even just a little, root for the U more than the Y. Instead we sit back and enjoy watching the rivalry.
#2 - When we're old and gray we plan to share a room in a rest home. We'll both have Alzheimers and plan to flirt with the cutie in the bed next to us. A lot.
#1 - 'Cause we're awesome. That's why.
*** Author's Addition ***
My good friend Carol reminded me of something, and it's just too good not to put in. When all the kids are out of the house and we won't have to worry about any children saying, "Why won't you let us get one!?!?!", hubby and I are totally getting motorcycles and traveling the U.S. of A.!!!!! OH YEAH BABY
Monday, August 30, 2010
My Mother
During the month of August I have the awesome opportunity to celebrate the birth of one of my all time favorite people: my mama. Seeing as how August is almost over, I figured I'd better sit down and get to telling you about this amazing woman. After all, she is the woman who gave you all me :) Heheheeee.
My mother was born in the small town of-
Just kidding. Not going for a biography here. Instead I'd like to share with you some memories I have of this, one of my greatest heroes.
I remember having chicken pox as a kid. They were worst on my feet. My sweet mother would kneel next to the couch and very carefully dab on the lovely pinkish anti-itch medication. You may not think it, but there was a lot of love in every single one of those dabs.
It certainly wasn't the first nor the last time she took care of me while I was sick. She has cradled me in her arms, soothed fevers with a gentle touch, cried along with me as I received shots, sat in the hospital as I had stitches put in my eyebrow, held my hand as I lay in the back seat of our car while my daddy drove to get me to the hospital when my appendix needed to come out.
One evening, when I was a bit older, my younger brother had been driving me up the wall, down the wall, and maybe even across the ceiling a few times (sorry bro, but it's true). My cute mommy saw I was in need of some time away and took me to A&W's for a frosty mug of rootbeer, my absolute most favorite drink at the time. Because that's the sort of woman she is.
My mother worked at the high school I attended. I know there are some kids out there who would moan at the thought, but I never minded. Having her there was often a great comfort to me. I didn't always have an easy time during those four years. There was one particular girl my junior year who moved into the school and I befriended. She had some problems with socializing and ended up making my life, as well as the lives of many of my friends, utterly miserable.
One day I had simply had enough. I walking into my choir class and burst into tears. With a grateful heart I went to my mother and let it all out. She held me, as she has done all my life, and just let me cry. You see, I didn't know how to stand up for myself. I thought the best way to go through life was not to make waves. My mother has never felt that way. Over the next few days she talked with the teacher of a class this girl and I had together, she had one of the counselors who had met with this girl talk with me and another friend who was also involved about (without going into anything private) why this girl was the way she was, and basically just had my back! I don't know if she'll ever comprehend how everything she did at that time saved me.
She sat in the hospital room with me when my son had been taken from my arms, and was one of my greatest supports as we buried him just a few days later.
She has laughed with me countless times as we've chatted over the phone, and has become, as my teenage self would never have guessed, one of my best friends.
My mother is a strong woman. She'll be the last to admit it, will hem and haw try to think of other less-flattering ways to describe herself, but she is strong. She has had to watch as so many around her have been cruel to herself and to those she loves, as her family and friends have endured so much especially in the ways of illnesses, and through it all she has been a pillar of love, strength, and what it means to state the words "choose the right."
She doesn't think of herself as beautiful, or amazing, or anything special, and yet my world would be a darker place without her. I love her smile, her giggle, her beautiful eyes, and her curly hair. I love her hugs, her ability to cheer me up when I'm feeling down, and the way she can make a sandwich that actually feels like comfort food simply because "mom made it."
So Happy Birthday Mom: you are, without a doubt, extraordinary. And I will never let you forget it!
My mother was born in the small town of-
Just kidding. Not going for a biography here. Instead I'd like to share with you some memories I have of this, one of my greatest heroes.
I remember having chicken pox as a kid. They were worst on my feet. My sweet mother would kneel next to the couch and very carefully dab on the lovely pinkish anti-itch medication. You may not think it, but there was a lot of love in every single one of those dabs.
It certainly wasn't the first nor the last time she took care of me while I was sick. She has cradled me in her arms, soothed fevers with a gentle touch, cried along with me as I received shots, sat in the hospital as I had stitches put in my eyebrow, held my hand as I lay in the back seat of our car while my daddy drove to get me to the hospital when my appendix needed to come out.
One evening, when I was a bit older, my younger brother had been driving me up the wall, down the wall, and maybe even across the ceiling a few times (sorry bro, but it's true). My cute mommy saw I was in need of some time away and took me to A&W's for a frosty mug of rootbeer, my absolute most favorite drink at the time. Because that's the sort of woman she is.
My mother worked at the high school I attended. I know there are some kids out there who would moan at the thought, but I never minded. Having her there was often a great comfort to me. I didn't always have an easy time during those four years. There was one particular girl my junior year who moved into the school and I befriended. She had some problems with socializing and ended up making my life, as well as the lives of many of my friends, utterly miserable.
One day I had simply had enough. I walking into my choir class and burst into tears. With a grateful heart I went to my mother and let it all out. She held me, as she has done all my life, and just let me cry. You see, I didn't know how to stand up for myself. I thought the best way to go through life was not to make waves. My mother has never felt that way. Over the next few days she talked with the teacher of a class this girl and I had together, she had one of the counselors who had met with this girl talk with me and another friend who was also involved about (without going into anything private) why this girl was the way she was, and basically just had my back! I don't know if she'll ever comprehend how everything she did at that time saved me.
She sat in the hospital room with me when my son had been taken from my arms, and was one of my greatest supports as we buried him just a few days later.
She has laughed with me countless times as we've chatted over the phone, and has become, as my teenage self would never have guessed, one of my best friends.
My mother is a strong woman. She'll be the last to admit it, will hem and haw try to think of other less-flattering ways to describe herself, but she is strong. She has had to watch as so many around her have been cruel to herself and to those she loves, as her family and friends have endured so much especially in the ways of illnesses, and through it all she has been a pillar of love, strength, and what it means to state the words "choose the right."
She doesn't think of herself as beautiful, or amazing, or anything special, and yet my world would be a darker place without her. I love her smile, her giggle, her beautiful eyes, and her curly hair. I love her hugs, her ability to cheer me up when I'm feeling down, and the way she can make a sandwich that actually feels like comfort food simply because "mom made it."
So Happy Birthday Mom: you are, without a doubt, extraordinary. And I will never let you forget it!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Girl's "Time Out"
The constant heat and humidity has been taking it's toll on all our tempers. I've been impressed with how well I've managed (no...seriously!), but could tell my daughter was a few hours away from a serious meltdown. Mom and Dad have been asking a lot of her lately, especially in regards to watching her younger siblings while we attempt to accomplish our various obligations, and I'd been thinking for a while she deserved a little treat.
By the time we got home from visiting a few church members today there were two extra boys on M's hands (friends who'd stopped over to play with my boys) and she looked pretty well done in. When a spider appeared on the ceiling just above her during dinner, I could tell from her complete and total freak out it was time to take her away from the house and see if we couldn't put a smile back on her face.
Granted I'm not much of a last-minute thinker, and our usual thing is to go to the mall (I know, original right?). Instead of wandering through the various stores looking at things we've looked at before, we headed over to the dollar theater. Fortune favored us in the form of a movie M wanted to see and it was only rated PG. So we bought two tickets for "Letters to Juliet."
Definitely a cute movie. There are certain things I would have changed - like less time on her dwindling relationship with one guy and more time on seeing the new relationship form, but still cute. Best of all is M had a good time. She laughed a lot, loved all the mushy lovey stuff, and just plain had fun being out with her mama.
It took me back to an experience I had with my own sweet mama. My younger brother (whom I flippin' adore...just want to make that clear) had been driving me more than a little nuts. Oh come on, that's the top job of a little brother. My mom could see I was at my own patience-limit, grabbed her purse, and told me we were leaving. Next thing I know we're at Hires sipping a root beer in those awesome frosted glasses. I needed that little outing with my mom. I needed that chance to just plain chill.
I'm so grateful for my mother. She is so hard on herself at times, in particular when looking back at how she raised us (as so many of us do), but she has always been exactly what I've needed. So when I see myself doing something for my precious girl that she had done for me, I know I'm being a good mama.
By the time we got home from visiting a few church members today there were two extra boys on M's hands (friends who'd stopped over to play with my boys) and she looked pretty well done in. When a spider appeared on the ceiling just above her during dinner, I could tell from her complete and total freak out it was time to take her away from the house and see if we couldn't put a smile back on her face.
Granted I'm not much of a last-minute thinker, and our usual thing is to go to the mall (I know, original right?). Instead of wandering through the various stores looking at things we've looked at before, we headed over to the dollar theater. Fortune favored us in the form of a movie M wanted to see and it was only rated PG. So we bought two tickets for "Letters to Juliet."
Definitely a cute movie. There are certain things I would have changed - like less time on her dwindling relationship with one guy and more time on seeing the new relationship form, but still cute. Best of all is M had a good time. She laughed a lot, loved all the mushy lovey stuff, and just plain had fun being out with her mama.
It took me back to an experience I had with my own sweet mama. My younger brother (whom I flippin' adore...just want to make that clear) had been driving me more than a little nuts. Oh come on, that's the top job of a little brother. My mom could see I was at my own patience-limit, grabbed her purse, and told me we were leaving. Next thing I know we're at Hires sipping a root beer in those awesome frosted glasses. I needed that little outing with my mom. I needed that chance to just plain chill.
I'm so grateful for my mother. She is so hard on herself at times, in particular when looking back at how she raised us (as so many of us do), but she has always been exactly what I've needed. So when I see myself doing something for my precious girl that she had done for me, I know I'm being a good mama.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Sunday Inspirations October 25, 2009
I wish to dedicate today's post to my brothers. There are two of them, one older, one younger. While we didn't exactly get along the greatest during our growing up years, they have been and will always be among those I love with all my heart. Perhaps even they cannot comprehend exactly how much I love them.
Over the last few weeks my younger brother has been desperately ill. Let me type the words "kidney stones" and you can spend a minute writhing in agony just as he's done for weeks. He began to lose weight, according to his sweet wife, and was, in a word, miserable. And no one is allowed to say he shouldn't be. During this time our family rallied together. My children, my husband, and I all prayed for Uncle T, in the hopes things would work out quickly. Several times a day my youngest would ask if "Ucwe has a stone? Ohhh." He ended up going in for surgery, which turned out to be the best choice as the stone had stuck and was simply spinning in place. My kids were all overjoyed to find out the stone was gone! I truly hope uncle T knows how much our family loves him.
This is a celebration month for my older brother. Not only do we celebrate his birth (Happy Birthday!!!), but five years ago he was given the gift of life. It was on a Sunday, like today, that a certain buzzer went off during church, signalling a miracle was about to occur: a kidney was ready for him. He'd suffered for many years from a kidney disease, had been on dialysis for so long, and barely able to function doing the most basic things. Our whole family aches to know someone died in order to help him live, but oh how grateful we are for the individual who marked "donor" on his driver's license. Because of this anonymous person, my brother had been given several more years of healthy life.
I'm thoroughly convinced our loved ones are given times of trial to allow others in the family to draw closer to them. When we pray for others, our hearts change. Even when it comes to those we don't plan to ever think kindly of we can see a change. For some individuals this can be a process done over years and years. For others the change can be almost immediate. Though we may never find ourselves loving with all of our souls those who have done us mountains of wrong, we can at least feel a softening of our hearts and a remembrance of who they are; that like us, they are children of our Heavenly Father.
Another blessing is simply the ability to feel close to those we are praying for, even if it's only in spirit. My younger brother is not just a short drive away, while my older brother lives several states to the east. I don't get to see either of them very often. We don't spend hours chatting on the phone or writing long, newsy e-mails back and forth. This does not, however, keep me from feeling distant from them, for they are as close as a prayer.
Yep, I love my brothers, even on days like the one in this picture, where they're both pulling on the back of my wedding dress just to be funny ♥
Over the last few weeks my younger brother has been desperately ill. Let me type the words "kidney stones" and you can spend a minute writhing in agony just as he's done for weeks. He began to lose weight, according to his sweet wife, and was, in a word, miserable. And no one is allowed to say he shouldn't be. During this time our family rallied together. My children, my husband, and I all prayed for Uncle T, in the hopes things would work out quickly. Several times a day my youngest would ask if "Ucwe has a stone? Ohhh." He ended up going in for surgery, which turned out to be the best choice as the stone had stuck and was simply spinning in place. My kids were all overjoyed to find out the stone was gone! I truly hope uncle T knows how much our family loves him.
This is a celebration month for my older brother. Not only do we celebrate his birth (Happy Birthday!!!), but five years ago he was given the gift of life. It was on a Sunday, like today, that a certain buzzer went off during church, signalling a miracle was about to occur: a kidney was ready for him. He'd suffered for many years from a kidney disease, had been on dialysis for so long, and barely able to function doing the most basic things. Our whole family aches to know someone died in order to help him live, but oh how grateful we are for the individual who marked "donor" on his driver's license. Because of this anonymous person, my brother had been given several more years of healthy life.
I'm thoroughly convinced our loved ones are given times of trial to allow others in the family to draw closer to them. When we pray for others, our hearts change. Even when it comes to those we don't plan to ever think kindly of we can see a change. For some individuals this can be a process done over years and years. For others the change can be almost immediate. Though we may never find ourselves loving with all of our souls those who have done us mountains of wrong, we can at least feel a softening of our hearts and a remembrance of who they are; that like us, they are children of our Heavenly Father.
Another blessing is simply the ability to feel close to those we are praying for, even if it's only in spirit. My younger brother is not just a short drive away, while my older brother lives several states to the east. I don't get to see either of them very often. We don't spend hours chatting on the phone or writing long, newsy e-mails back and forth. This does not, however, keep me from feeling distant from them, for they are as close as a prayer.
Yep, I love my brothers, even on days like the one in this picture, where they're both pulling on the back of my wedding dress just to be funny ♥
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
A Fairly Scrumptious Baker's Dozen
Awww, how cute are they!!! This week my darling hubby and I celebrate our 13th anniversary. That's right, this remarkable man has stuck by my side for 13 flavor-filled years. Seeing as how this is my blog...I reserve the right to take a few minutes to be utterly cheesy, sappy, mushy, slushy, syrupy, mawkish and maudlin. In other words, I'm going to tell you 13 reasons why I absolutely adore this man of mine.1. He's awfully nice. I mean really, really nice. Where others might be snappish or rude, he always turns the other cheek and gives people second, third, fourth and fifth chances.
2. He's tolerant. He has to be in his job, his calling in this church, as well as in having such a crazy wife and kids. Once again, where others might not be willing to put up with the utter insanity of life, he is. Continually.
3. He's compassionate. My husband has been compassionate his entire life, but oh my how I have seen him grow stronger in this trait as he has been a bishop. His ability to share himself with those in need has been extraordinary, not to mention felt by those whose lives he has touched.
4. He is an amazing father. Even though he's worked two jobs most of our married life and has had callings that take him out of the home even more, there is no doubt in the minds of our children their daddy loves them. He is willing to change diapers, help with homework, take them on bike rides, read together, and have tickle fights.
5. He helps around the house. Are all you ladies drooling right now? More than once he's cleaned the house when I wasn't up to it. He's done laundry. Now that he's home most evenings he'll willingly wash dishes. Not only this but he gets the kids involved where I might do it myself because it would just be easier. He'll cook when I'm not feeling well, and will even involve our oldest in the process.
6. He's a worker. It's inherited, you know. Those who are familiar with the Walker family know if a job needs to get done, they will do it and do it to the best of their abilities, something that was pounded into the minds of every Walker child since their youth.
7. He comes with an amazing family. I never knew what an extended family could be until I was warmly welcomed into this one. Aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews...I have learned so much from them all.
8. He is a humble leader. The best leaders are those who don't feel worthy of the position, who don't ask to lead, and who would willingly pass the job along to someone else. Because of this they work hardest to do their best in the hopes of not letting their boss's and those they serve down. My husband is one of these leaders.
9. He is dedicated and loyal. Even though he may be physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally exhausted, if something needs to be done he will push himself to do it. If there is a need he will fill it. I have watched him push his body beyond excruciating limits to get the job done.
10. He is ever aware of my needs. There are days when I'm just "done," and he knows it. On those days he'll take the kids away to grandpa's house, or kicks me out of the house, just so I can get in my "alone time." He also knows I need my creative outlets, and will move heaven and earth to make sure I have some way of following those pursuits.
11. He has dreamy eyes. Even after thirteen years I think his eyes are the most gorgeous blue, framed by fantastic lashes. Of course, being his wife, I'm the only one allowed to gaze into those eyes, so don't even think about it ladies.
12. He makes me a better person. He claims it's the other way around, but I just let him think that. the truth is he has helped me to stretch beyond my self-set boundaries, to increase in faith, and to spread my wings. He is my best friend and I am better for having him in my life.
13. And last, but certainly not least, after all these years my hubby still loves this off-the-wall, moderately hormonal, overly single-minded, sadly sentimental, excruciatingly chunky, has-probably-cost-him-a-million-dollars bundle of me. I'd say that earns him some kind of award!!!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
"My Brief Life as a Woman
My friend LaDawn sent this article over to me, and I thought it was beyond brilliantlly written. The man involved had to have his testosterone hormones suppressed due to prostate cancer, and because of this he begins to experience many of the same symptoms as a woman who is experiencing menopause.
Trust me when I say as a woman, I both laughed and allowed the inner voice in my head to say, "Oh yeah!" I also believe that any man who reads this will definitely laugh as well as take a moment to think about and respect any woman who's having a "hormonal" moment.
My Brief Life as a Woman
Trust me when I say as a woman, I both laughed and allowed the inner voice in my head to say, "Oh yeah!" I also believe that any man who reads this will definitely laugh as well as take a moment to think about and respect any woman who's having a "hormonal" moment.
My Brief Life as a Woman
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Raising Insecure Children in a Few Easy Steps
It's not an easy thing to do, you know, instilling a sufficient sense of insecurity in one's children. Especially when they're so confident to start out with. But I, the most extraordinary of mothers, have apparently managed it! Want to know my secrets? Today is your lucky day, as I'm ready and willing to spill it all.
You have to start early in life, like when they're first born, by doing everything for them. Of course they seem to expect this as a natural occurence so it's not too difficult to accomplish the first step. They key to heading into the second step is to keep doing everything for them!
This can be difficult, as too many toddlers are under the impression they can do things for themselves. One should certainly allow them to accomplish a few things, you know, to keep them from realizing what you're really doing. For example, I let my kids pick out their own clothes. But then I look them up and down, shake my head, and say, "Do you really think that goes together?"
Suddenly they're filled with doubt, ask Mom's opinion, and begin to rely on me just a tad more than before. Sneaky, I know. My methods are truly subtle.
As they get a little older you keep doing the same thing, but add a new level. Every time they ask to help, you allow them to do just a little, then suddenly take over when they think they're getting the hang of it. The next time they ask to help you shake your head and say, "Maybe next time, honey. I know what I'm doing and can do it faster." This way kids eventually stop asking to help and find themselves convinced Mom really can do it better and faster, and should continue to do so for the rest of her life!
Eventually kids begin to think their friends know more than their mother. I know...but kids are just silly. This can be used to your advantage as well, as their friends will utterly be proven wrong at some point. So the next step is a little more complicated, for you have to combine argumentative with patience. All the time you're chirping in your child's ear how wrong his/her friend is, you have to wait until that friend is (at last!) proven to be wrong. Or mean. Or more wrong! Then you can take your child in your arms and say, "See? I was right all along." Not only will you come across as loving, but your child will begin to realize in ways never to be proven before how much you really do know about the inner and outer workings of this crazy life. Dependance upon your constant wisdom will be secured!
The last step is to be all knowing. Not too hard for us moms, right? This is as easy as finding a missing shoe/backpack/book, etc. We all know kiddies aren't the greatest searchers (unless they're looking for your stash of chocolate), so the last step is to hide one of the shoes. They'll search their room over, becoming increasingly frantic, until your assistance is at last called upon. Then you swoop in, distract them by making them look under the bed, then magically find the shoe right underneath the blanket they've all ready searched. It's brilliant I tell you! Before you know it, they won't even bother looking under blankets. They'll just make a cursory search of the obvious, then immediately call you in for help while they finish watching the last few minutes of kids shows before school starts.
Before you know it, your child will look to see what you think of every outfit. She'll immediately change her opinion to meet your own on any subject. He won't even try to look for a missing shoe without first enlisting, then entirely depending upon, you! Your mission will be comlete. You will have an entire posse of children who believe they can do great things like sing in front of everyone at church, can even make their own bowl of Double Noodle Soup, but when it comes to basics like having enough confidence in his/herself to know he/she can ace a math test, read a book, or tie their own shoelaces, your mission will be complete. They won't be able to do any of it without your constant supervision!
I had no idea this was my ultimate goal, but I've apparently done a really good job of it. I just thought I'd pop in and share my wisdom with the world.
You have to start early in life, like when they're first born, by doing everything for them. Of course they seem to expect this as a natural occurence so it's not too difficult to accomplish the first step. They key to heading into the second step is to keep doing everything for them!
This can be difficult, as too many toddlers are under the impression they can do things for themselves. One should certainly allow them to accomplish a few things, you know, to keep them from realizing what you're really doing. For example, I let my kids pick out their own clothes. But then I look them up and down, shake my head, and say, "Do you really think that goes together?"
Suddenly they're filled with doubt, ask Mom's opinion, and begin to rely on me just a tad more than before. Sneaky, I know. My methods are truly subtle.
As they get a little older you keep doing the same thing, but add a new level. Every time they ask to help, you allow them to do just a little, then suddenly take over when they think they're getting the hang of it. The next time they ask to help you shake your head and say, "Maybe next time, honey. I know what I'm doing and can do it faster." This way kids eventually stop asking to help and find themselves convinced Mom really can do it better and faster, and should continue to do so for the rest of her life!
Eventually kids begin to think their friends know more than their mother. I know...but kids are just silly. This can be used to your advantage as well, as their friends will utterly be proven wrong at some point. So the next step is a little more complicated, for you have to combine argumentative with patience. All the time you're chirping in your child's ear how wrong his/her friend is, you have to wait until that friend is (at last!) proven to be wrong. Or mean. Or more wrong! Then you can take your child in your arms and say, "See? I was right all along." Not only will you come across as loving, but your child will begin to realize in ways never to be proven before how much you really do know about the inner and outer workings of this crazy life. Dependance upon your constant wisdom will be secured!
The last step is to be all knowing. Not too hard for us moms, right? This is as easy as finding a missing shoe/backpack/book, etc. We all know kiddies aren't the greatest searchers (unless they're looking for your stash of chocolate), so the last step is to hide one of the shoes. They'll search their room over, becoming increasingly frantic, until your assistance is at last called upon. Then you swoop in, distract them by making them look under the bed, then magically find the shoe right underneath the blanket they've all ready searched. It's brilliant I tell you! Before you know it, they won't even bother looking under blankets. They'll just make a cursory search of the obvious, then immediately call you in for help while they finish watching the last few minutes of kids shows before school starts.
Before you know it, your child will look to see what you think of every outfit. She'll immediately change her opinion to meet your own on any subject. He won't even try to look for a missing shoe without first enlisting, then entirely depending upon, you! Your mission will be comlete. You will have an entire posse of children who believe they can do great things like sing in front of everyone at church, can even make their own bowl of Double Noodle Soup, but when it comes to basics like having enough confidence in his/herself to know he/she can ace a math test, read a book, or tie their own shoelaces, your mission will be complete. They won't be able to do any of it without your constant supervision!
I had no idea this was my ultimate goal, but I've apparently done a really good job of it. I just thought I'd pop in and share my wisdom with the world.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Hypocritical Cupcakes
This is perhaps the busiest week birthday-wise in our family, with three to celebrate. Two of those birthdays happen to be two of my own kiddies, and with happy hearts they both took cupcakes to share with their school classes yesterday.
Both of them came out of class positively grouchy. In fact, B said, "You know the green monster on Sesame Street?"
"You mean Oscar the Grouch?"
"Yeah. I think I was really grouchy today."
Hmm.
After a bit of prodding, he finally told me he wasn't too happy with his classmates that day. Apparently he noticed kids who normally don't pay much attention to him were trying to play and talk with him at recess. He said they yelled if they didn't get the ring (decoration on the cupcakes) they wanted, and after a while they were just giving him a headache.
Things didn't seem to go much better for M. She came out of school, the corners of her lips turned downward.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
She handed me the bag which contained the cupcakes...it was empty. There should have been about nine left, and that's if every one of the kids showed up at class that day.
M's supposed friend had grabbed the bag the moment they got out of class and yelled out to the kids, "Who wants another cupcake?" They were gone in moments, and M didn't even get to give a sweet little girl who wasn't in her class a cupcake. She was so upset. Frankly, so was I. A part of me wanted to go find this "friend" and have a good talk with her, then make her pay me for all the cupcakes she essentially stole from us.
As you can see, I was not a happy camper. M is talking about never doing cupcakes on her birthday again, and I'm not sure B will want to as well. Yet, there were lessons to be learned. B now knows there are people out there who will pretend to be your friend when it looks like they can get something from you (he honestly came up with that on his own). M is in the process of learning she needs to stand up for herself with her friends. Sometimes she allows their opinions and actions to overrule what she knows to be right and fair.
Never easy lessons, but both necessary. I suppose we'll just have to wait and see if we still do cupcakes for either one next year.
Both of them came out of class positively grouchy. In fact, B said, "You know the green monster on Sesame Street?"
"You mean Oscar the Grouch?"
"Yeah. I think I was really grouchy today."
Hmm.
After a bit of prodding, he finally told me he wasn't too happy with his classmates that day. Apparently he noticed kids who normally don't pay much attention to him were trying to play and talk with him at recess. He said they yelled if they didn't get the ring (decoration on the cupcakes) they wanted, and after a while they were just giving him a headache.
Things didn't seem to go much better for M. She came out of school, the corners of her lips turned downward.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
She handed me the bag which contained the cupcakes...it was empty. There should have been about nine left, and that's if every one of the kids showed up at class that day.
M's supposed friend had grabbed the bag the moment they got out of class and yelled out to the kids, "Who wants another cupcake?" They were gone in moments, and M didn't even get to give a sweet little girl who wasn't in her class a cupcake. She was so upset. Frankly, so was I. A part of me wanted to go find this "friend" and have a good talk with her, then make her pay me for all the cupcakes she essentially stole from us.
As you can see, I was not a happy camper. M is talking about never doing cupcakes on her birthday again, and I'm not sure B will want to as well. Yet, there were lessons to be learned. B now knows there are people out there who will pretend to be your friend when it looks like they can get something from you (he honestly came up with that on his own). M is in the process of learning she needs to stand up for herself with her friends. Sometimes she allows their opinions and actions to overrule what she knows to be right and fair.
Never easy lessons, but both necessary. I suppose we'll just have to wait and see if we still do cupcakes for either one next year.
Monday, November 17, 2008
My 100th Post
It was a bit surreal, looking at the 99 next to number of posts, and realizing this would not necessarily be a happy celebration. Had I been "on schedule" the 100th post would have been my usual Sunday Inspiration thoughts. I didn't feel up to it, however.
Saturday night we received a visit and a phone call that brought us to a bit of a halt. To our door came one of my Young Women along with a neighbor of hers (our current Primary President). The father of the Young Woman had fallen from their roof. This man is the 1st Counselor in our bishopric. He is a good man. A remarkable man. He never hesitates to give help when needed, and has one of the biggest hearts I've ever known. My husband jumped up and left to go see him.
For the most part our friend is okay, he didn't need to be hospitalized, but he's having a lot of nasty after effects.
A few minutes after my husband got back home the phone rang. My father was hospitalized for pneumonia. We'd just spent the morning with him raking up leaves, and suddenly he's so sick he could barely work his hands. At first we thought he'd be able to come home today, but not yet. Not yet.
Perhaps you can now understand why I haven't felt very inspirational.
My post today is not to entertain. My post today is to ask for you to stop a moment and think of someone who may be in great need today. I encourage you to offer a prayer in behalf of those who may be sick, mourning, or otherwise in distress. We can all use a few more prayers.
Saturday night we received a visit and a phone call that brought us to a bit of a halt. To our door came one of my Young Women along with a neighbor of hers (our current Primary President). The father of the Young Woman had fallen from their roof. This man is the 1st Counselor in our bishopric. He is a good man. A remarkable man. He never hesitates to give help when needed, and has one of the biggest hearts I've ever known. My husband jumped up and left to go see him.
For the most part our friend is okay, he didn't need to be hospitalized, but he's having a lot of nasty after effects.
A few minutes after my husband got back home the phone rang. My father was hospitalized for pneumonia. We'd just spent the morning with him raking up leaves, and suddenly he's so sick he could barely work his hands. At first we thought he'd be able to come home today, but not yet. Not yet.
Perhaps you can now understand why I haven't felt very inspirational.
My post today is not to entertain. My post today is to ask for you to stop a moment and think of someone who may be in great need today. I encourage you to offer a prayer in behalf of those who may be sick, mourning, or otherwise in distress. We can all use a few more prayers.
Friday, September 12, 2008
A Horse of a Different Color
Drumming to his own beat. Wearing purple in an all pink parade. No matter how you describe him, B has his own remarkable way of handling life, and it's come blazing out in these last few days.
First a little back story.
Last year he was in a district sponsored pre-school. It was the first (and last) year they attempted to have the kids there all day. This was difficult for me, to say the least. B's been my little home buddy for many years now. Being a lover of all things home this was a strain on his composure as well. As the year went on we both got used to him being gone all day. He really flourished in pre-school. Because of his sweet and gentle nature he made lots of friends and was quite often the one others wanted to play with, often at the exclusion of anyone else.
I'm not saying this in a "Mom's bragging again" sort of way. After all, he came to me from heaven all sorted out. It simply helps illustrate the contrast to this year.
About two weeks ago I asked him, "Who did you play with today?", to which my B answered, "I didn't play with anybody." He said it so matter-of-fact, as though we were simply talking about the weather, except he's often far more excited about the weather.
"You didn't play with your friends?" I asked. "I don't have any friends," he said in the same way he might say, "I'd like a sandwich for lunch today."
I became increasingly concerned. My boy who was used to all sorts of friends last year doesn't have one thus far? Did he sense my concern? Maybe, for he said, "It's okay, Mom. I really like walking around the playground by myself."
I'm thinking, "Yeah right," but didn't make more of a deal of it, just said, "If it ever starts to bother you, let me know."
Fast forward to earlier this week. My hubby tells me he brought it up to B when they had a little one-on-one time together. B tells him, "It's okay Dad. I really like to be by myself. I can think better when no one's talking to me."
HE'S FIVE!
The third incident occurred yesterday as we came out of school. B's teacher allows them to bring water bottles to class (it keeps them from constantly asking to go get a drink of water). I bought B a water bottle. It's small, like his big brother's, and stands at about five inches high. B's only in school 3 1/2 hours. Why would he need anything bigger?
"_______ made fun of my water bottle today when we were in line," B said. "He said it looks like a baby cup."
"Did you tell the teacher?" I asked.
"No."
We kept walking along until he mentions another kid made fun of it too. "It looks like a kid's sippy cup," the boy said.
Again I ask, "Did you let the teacher know they were teasing?"
"No. It's okay. It doesn't bother me when other kids are teasing me."
WHOA! How many kids would say that? Not to mention it used to bother him to no end when kids teased him just a year or so ago.
The last happened last night. B comes in every night just before he's ready to go to sleep so I will help him say his prayers. As he's leaving I told him if kids are teasing or making fun of him to let his teacher know, because it's not something they should be doing. This one stunned me more than the others combined.
"Mom, I didn't want to get them in trouble. Sometimes kids tell on other kids when they didn't even do anything, and that's not right. I just don't want to get anyone in trouble."
All kids are special, but there's something about B that simply boggles my mind. If more adults acted the way this little boy acts, what a remarkable world this would be. It certainly brings to mind the ideas of becoming child-like and a child shall lead them.
First a little back story.
Last year he was in a district sponsored pre-school. It was the first (and last) year they attempted to have the kids there all day. This was difficult for me, to say the least. B's been my little home buddy for many years now. Being a lover of all things home this was a strain on his composure as well. As the year went on we both got used to him being gone all day. He really flourished in pre-school. Because of his sweet and gentle nature he made lots of friends and was quite often the one others wanted to play with, often at the exclusion of anyone else.
I'm not saying this in a "Mom's bragging again" sort of way. After all, he came to me from heaven all sorted out. It simply helps illustrate the contrast to this year.
About two weeks ago I asked him, "Who did you play with today?", to which my B answered, "I didn't play with anybody." He said it so matter-of-fact, as though we were simply talking about the weather, except he's often far more excited about the weather.
"You didn't play with your friends?" I asked. "I don't have any friends," he said in the same way he might say, "I'd like a sandwich for lunch today."
I became increasingly concerned. My boy who was used to all sorts of friends last year doesn't have one thus far? Did he sense my concern? Maybe, for he said, "It's okay, Mom. I really like walking around the playground by myself."
I'm thinking, "Yeah right," but didn't make more of a deal of it, just said, "If it ever starts to bother you, let me know."
Fast forward to earlier this week. My hubby tells me he brought it up to B when they had a little one-on-one time together. B tells him, "It's okay Dad. I really like to be by myself. I can think better when no one's talking to me."
HE'S FIVE!
The third incident occurred yesterday as we came out of school. B's teacher allows them to bring water bottles to class (it keeps them from constantly asking to go get a drink of water). I bought B a water bottle. It's small, like his big brother's, and stands at about five inches high. B's only in school 3 1/2 hours. Why would he need anything bigger?
"_______ made fun of my water bottle today when we were in line," B said. "He said it looks like a baby cup."
"Did you tell the teacher?" I asked.
"No."
We kept walking along until he mentions another kid made fun of it too. "It looks like a kid's sippy cup," the boy said.
Again I ask, "Did you let the teacher know they were teasing?"
"No. It's okay. It doesn't bother me when other kids are teasing me."
WHOA! How many kids would say that? Not to mention it used to bother him to no end when kids teased him just a year or so ago.
The last happened last night. B comes in every night just before he's ready to go to sleep so I will help him say his prayers. As he's leaving I told him if kids are teasing or making fun of him to let his teacher know, because it's not something they should be doing. This one stunned me more than the others combined.
"Mom, I didn't want to get them in trouble. Sometimes kids tell on other kids when they didn't even do anything, and that's not right. I just don't want to get anyone in trouble."
All kids are special, but there's something about B that simply boggles my mind. If more adults acted the way this little boy acts, what a remarkable world this would be. It certainly brings to mind the ideas of becoming child-like and a child shall lead them.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Unwanted Attentions
My daughter, M, has a suitor. An unwanted suitor. She's had them before, but never one quite so persistant.
They've known one another since preschool. They're now in 5th grade. I don't think it would be so much of an issue if he were well liked by other kids, but this little boy is often the butt of nasty rumors and jokes. It breaks my heart.
Of course I don't know what he's really like at school. I haven't seen the kid beyond an occasional hello over the years. M says he's disgusting, but most boys are disgusting at that age. I think her perceptions are formed largely around what her friends think, and none of them like him.
That makes me sad, but again, I don't know what he's really like at school. I can tell she wishes there was some sort of magic answer to make the problem go away. All I could tell her was to pray about it, that Heavenly Father would tell her heart what to do when the time was right.
Last night, almost as if he knew M had been talking about him earlier, he stopped at our front door with freshly picked flowers in hand (I think only one of them was from our own yard, lol). I knew he wanted to see M, just as I knew she was cowering on the couch unwilling to come to the door.
I told him the truth - she was ready for bed. Which she was. I promised to give her the flowers, and he walked off, unable to see the girl who's somehow captured his fragile little heart.
I think a part of M appreciated the thought. She wanted to put the flowers in a vase, but we couldn't find one. So they're currently wilting on the top of my sink.
They've known one another since preschool. They're now in 5th grade. I don't think it would be so much of an issue if he were well liked by other kids, but this little boy is often the butt of nasty rumors and jokes. It breaks my heart.
Of course I don't know what he's really like at school. I haven't seen the kid beyond an occasional hello over the years. M says he's disgusting, but most boys are disgusting at that age. I think her perceptions are formed largely around what her friends think, and none of them like him.
That makes me sad, but again, I don't know what he's really like at school. I can tell she wishes there was some sort of magic answer to make the problem go away. All I could tell her was to pray about it, that Heavenly Father would tell her heart what to do when the time was right.
Last night, almost as if he knew M had been talking about him earlier, he stopped at our front door with freshly picked flowers in hand (I think only one of them was from our own yard, lol). I knew he wanted to see M, just as I knew she was cowering on the couch unwilling to come to the door.
I told him the truth - she was ready for bed. Which she was. I promised to give her the flowers, and he walked off, unable to see the girl who's somehow captured his fragile little heart.
I think a part of M appreciated the thought. She wanted to put the flowers in a vase, but we couldn't find one. So they're currently wilting on the top of my sink.
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