Friday, November 27, 2009

Face Your Fears!

For my birthday this year I asked to get my ears pierced. I've worn earrings for many years until I had a few babies who thought the pretty sparklies hanging from Mom's ears were toys to be pulled at will. By the time I thought of wearing earrings again the little holes had closed right up.

Many (many) years later I still have all those earrings in the hopes I might find myself able to wear them once again. They sit in a drawer, all sad and lonely, dreaming of being oohed and awed over. Too bad their sparkles are hidden under a layer of dust. Yeah, it's been that long.

My oldest has been flip-flopping around the idea of getting her own ears pierced for about two years now, loving the idea of having sparklies hanging from her own lobes. There's just one problem standing between her and this ultimate dream: the fear of actually shooting little rods through her ears. Silly girl, where does she come up with crazy ideas like this?

Instead of admitting her fear, M comes up with loads of other excuses. She can't find a pair she really likes; or she doesn't think she's ready to take care of earrings; the earrings might get lost; or her ears might become infected. I can understand each and every one of her reasons, but one in particular seems to pop up repeatedly. Fear.

Of course I'm not heartless and can understand that sort of fear. My concern stems around M allowing this fear to stop her from doing something she'd really like to try. Now I promise I'm not looking to force her into that chair and hold her down, blatantly ignoring the screaming of my firstborn until her ears are pierced. I simply want her to learn to face her fears, for one simple reason: I did not.

Growing up I was riddled with fears. So many fears. Add to this the annoying trait of being painfully shy, and I spent far to many years living with regrets. I regret not trying for more solos in choir due to the fear I'd be horrible and promptly rejected. I regret not trying out for Madrigals, the special singing group in our high school, as I was afraid of the time commitment as well as some of the other people who were accepted (you know, the mean popular girls). I regret not dating more due to the fear of doing or saying something stupid. Oh my, there are too many regrets to mention here.

So when I see my daughter not doing something she really wants to do because she's afraid, it plucks the strings of regret living inside me. Therefore, as a part of my birthday present, I asked all of my children to be present and watching as my ears were pierced. Hee, hee, hee.

To be honest it didn't hurt all that much. My hubby had to hold M in place and keep her hands off her eyes, silly girl, but I didn't even flinch. The next thing the kids knew I was done. Ears shot through with metal bullets disguised as sparklies. And you know what? M is thinking about getting them pierced again. Who knows, maybe she another three or four years.


Momma Ellen said...

Good for you, Laurie. I have so many fears, many similar to the ones you mentioned, that keep me from doing things. Thanks for reminding me to face those fears. It's hard to go outside our comfort zones!!

Debbie D said...

I didn't get my ears pierced till after I was married for pete's sake! Mostly it had something to do with getting my parents permission earlier (when I would go to the mall at age 14) Then (Later) I had a job and was working and didn't go to the mall so much. I'd kinda forgot about piercing my ears, I was 21 or 22 when I finally did. Weird, huh? But, I didn't need permission :)