Every once in a while I get a bit restless. Well, in a creative sense...and perhaps it’s more than just “a bit.” I’ve come to realize more and more these days it happens when I’m witnessing the remarkable accomplishments of those around me, and sadly feeling left behind.
Right before this I posted about two wonderful men who have worked hard to make something of their extraordinary talents. They are not the only ones who are having success.
Steve’s younger sister Catherine also has a cd out. Their older brother Matt and his string quartet are in a lot of demand. One good friend, Stephanie, has several children’s books out now which she has illustrated, while another friend Mike (who I dedicated a post to several months ago) recently had his work commissioned to create an exquisite portrait of a scene from the Bible.
One friend is finding success with her recent foray into sewing, and has opened up an Etsy (online) store to sell many of her skirts and aprons. Yet another puts her creative juices into making crafts to put on display in a boutique. As if this weren’t enough, there are those whom I have known since my high school days who are accomplishing what I’d always hoped to do…have books published.
There are moments when being surrounded by such extraordinary and creative people makes my heart positively sing! Their successes are well deserved and I would never for a moment begrudge them the achievements for which they have all worked so hard.
There are so many things my Heavenly Father has blessed me to be able to do, I just feel left behind. And when I feel left behind I get restless, and I forget what it is I’m supposed to be doing at this time in my life. Fortunately I have this loving Heavenly Father who grants me gentle reminders.
In the last two weeks I’ve received multiple compliments on my children, on the home I have helped to create, on the time I take to focus on my children. Last Sunday I posted one of these experiences, one that has still has me thinking about our home life. This week I was given a few more. The first one came from my own son.
We had brought a friend home from school to watch until his parents could come pick him up. I didn’t realize it at the time but they were pretending something when B yelled out the door that no one could come inside. I told him to play nice, but apparently did it in a tone unlike my normal one. B made certain to mention this a little later.
“You didn’t sound like yourself, Mom,” he said. “You didn’t sound nice.”
I could have gone straight to, ‘I’m a horrible mother who snapped at her son!’ Instead into my mind came the thought, ‘He thinks my normal self is nice, and I slipped a little.’ After the year I’ve had battling with depression, this was an unexpected blessing to know.
One night my hubby and I had taken the kids out to eat. It was a buffet style restaurant (since no one could decide where they wanted to eat), and our waiter was kept quite busy. After all, there were six of us! As everyone was finishing our youngest ended up with a stinky diaper, so I took her out to the car to change her, knowing the others would follow along soon.
As everyone climbed into the car my hubby pulled me aside and said, “The waiter stopped me as we were leaving to tell me we had some of the best behaved children he’s ever seen working there.” WOW, what a compliment.
The last experience came just last night. We’d come home from a dinner at my parents’ house. My younger son, B, was so tired and sunburned from a busy day in the sun, but also too wound up to simply go to sleep. I took some time out to apply a thick layer of Aloe Vera, then did something we hadn’t done in a long, long time. While all the other kids were playing outside we laid down on the bed and read a book together. B thrives on this one-on-one contact, and with three other kids it’s something that rarely happens. As we finished the chapter he turned to me, gave me a big hug and a kiss, and said thank you.
Yes, it’s true in some ways I’m feeling left behind, but I know my turn will come. In these last few weeks I’m being gently reminded that the area I need to be caught up in has nothing to do with my creative side, but my mothering side. This is what I’ve wanted to be since I was a very little girl, and I cannot forget it.
If you’re not where you’d planned to be at this time of your life, that’s okay. Maybe it’s not the Lord’s timing, because there is something so much more important for you to be focused on right now. Take a moment to look for the gentle reminders.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
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1 comment:
Oh Laurie! I totally needed to hear/read this right now. I often struggle with the "what if"s and It frustrates me and causes major doubts. I love how you gave me something to think about...a different perspective...the LORD'S! You're an incredible woman and I feel so blessed to be allowed to know you!
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